Wednesday, February 02, 2005

We're taking bets that it can happen to anyone...

I may go way too far in this post, but I have to share. I am sure that my brother will be most upset, but it is damn funny.

My parents are pretty normal. They do things that most couples there age do. (59 if you are wondering) They like to cross country ski and go to plays. Well my Mom likes to go to plays and my Dad likes to make her happy. They also like to try new things. One of those things happened last night. They went to a wine tasting at the Mill on the River. They went with another couple whom they have been friends with for years.

Now my parents are not what you would call drinkers. My Dad likes to have a beer every now and then while watching a sporting event or having pizza. Some of my fondest memories as a kid are getting pizza and my Dad drinking beer out of a big green mug. My sister and I would get the cap to the beer which had a riddle in it. My Mother is more of a wine drinker at Thanksgiving/Christmas and other types of special dinners. So this was definitely going to be something new for them.

They left at 6:15 pm and came home at about 10:30 pm. So it was four hours of drinking. Now for the bevy of college aged readers that I have that is a drop in the bucket. I think that for Russ and Matt that would be an early night. :) My Mother comes in the house and I should have realized something was wrong. She was still wearing her shoes. If you have met my Mother you would know that this is a biblical sin because you will track dirt into the house.

She then announces to me that, "Your father committed us to go to Germany for two weeks this fall." I was a little weirded out by that and then she plopped down on the sacred living room couch. My Dad comes in and we start talking about their evening. My Dad then says to my mother, "Are you all right?" She had that look that Res. Lifers recognize as going to puke soon. I tell her to get to the bathroom, but she says she is fine. I then get her a bag, because I know what is going to happen next. She spits a little bit into the bag and then starts to wipe her mouth with the bag. I know this is going to get worse so I get her paper towels. I then hear my Dad yelp and say that it is too late. My Mother vomited through the handle of the bag all over the couch and herself.

She then starts giggling. We send her to the bathroom where she declares that now she feels better and she is fine. She is still laughing hysterically at what I believe is her hand. She keeps repeating that she is going to get her shirt dry cleaned. I almost throw up trying to clean up the vomit while my Dad starts joking that my Mother should have chewed her food before swallowing. My mother almost falls up the stairs. She gets to bed fully clothed and we figured she was going to pass out.

My Dad are laughing at the situation, when I figure I should go check on my Mom. I go upstairs and she is in the bathroom vomiting again. I ask her if she is okay and she says that is the last wine tasting she will ever go to. She vomited at least one more time and my Dad came down and said he thinks she is going to sleep in the bathroom.

Now many of you have experienced this either personally or with friends. I never thought I would see this happen to my Mother. I thought I had left Res. Life, but now I know it is all Res. Life. (I told you Laura Bennett) I am going to laugh about this for weeks and I hope I made you chuckle. :)

PS. Anyone who wants to get a couple of drinks Sat. night after the hockey game I will be at the Brewery getting a drink on. I figure this is as good a time as any to make this announcement. 21+ please :)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god Greg, I almost fell off my chair laughing this morning.....mostly because your parents (at least your mum) sound so much like mine, it was like visualizing this happening to my own mum!! I hope she's feeling better, those too much wine nights are brutal. :) lots of gatorade and a coupla asprin. :) maybe jello. Poor Mrs. Madrid :(

Anonymous said...

Oh my! tee hee, your poor mum. That is hysterical.
-cgm

Anonymous said...

Hahaha.... definitely an early night, even after the 'cutting back' I've been doing... though wine does hit real hard sometimes :-D - That's still the best story I've seen in a while hahaha, been there with my Mom once... she had "The Flu" after a few margaritas, always funny..

MD