We're taking bets that it is fun to be a Mr. or even a Little Miss...

How many people remember the Mr. Men/Little Miss books from our childhood? I did a little bit of research on these fun little characters and found their official website. In the site you can make your own Mr. Men and Little Miss characters. It could be a great teambuilder especially when you make Little Miss Pain in the Ass and Mr. Grabass for your employees or friends. So go checkout it out at www.mrmen.com.

Just one other fun thought for the day. What do you think they call the bucket that they put behind a horse or elephant during a parade? I thought that it would have been called a buttoon as a spin off of a spitoon. What do you think?

WTBT Volume 23...

We're taking bets that...

* Mike from Real World New York may be the person who has milked his 15 minutes of fame the most.
* it is great that Curt Schilling is finally moving into the Red Sox rotation.
* you have no clue why the guy jumped into the cake during Guns-N-Roses "November Rain" video.
* you wonder sometimes if they are going to make a live action/animated movie version of The Wuzzles.
* How I Met Your Mother will be the best new comedy this year.
* Antonio Gates is making a big mistake holding out on the San Diego Chargers.
* it's Miller Time in Milwaukee. Congrats on 150 years of making beer.
* the Kansas City Royals are the worst baseball team in the last 20 years.
* there is no better family movie out than March of the Penguins.
* most kids can't find Iowa on a map, but many say High School is too easy.
* it was great to see Doug Flutie back in a New England Patriots uniform.
* cats don't get much luckier than this one. Nine lives or not.
* Charlie Weis will make the Fighting Irish a National Championship contender in 4 years.
* you are surprised there isn't a Christian group protesting the movie 40 Year Old Virgin because most of them haven't had sex yet either.
* this might be the scariest story of the NFL's preseason.
* until the mechanic's strike is over you are a little leery flying Northwest Airlines.
* Roger Federer might be the best mens tennis player ever.
* John O'Hurley is going to kick ass in his Dancing with the Stars rematch against Kelly Monaco. Seriously that is part of his new dance move.
* you can't believe that Hulk Hogan is headlining WWE's Summer Slam. Isn't he dead yet?

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Jennifer Love Hewitt is an excellent choice for a number of reasons. First of all she makes most women crazy to the point of reacting like George Brett during the pine tar incident. (Joke courtesy of Bill Simmons). Secondly she has a great new comedy on CBS called Ghost Whisperer. What? It's a drama? Oops. My bad. Lastly and most importantly she is pretty hot. My friend Dennis says he met her and she was cool and nice to him. Of course I don't think he ever mentioned the fact that security dragged him away from her shortly after she said hi, but that probably happened. :)

We're taking bets that I know this one...

Question time at WTBT. Post your answers in the comments section. Invite friends... have a ball.

A. What is the funniest or unusual thing you could say that would stop a conversation dead in its tracks?

B. What are your top three favorite music videos?

Answers:

A. I think that if you all of a sudden said, "I fart when I cough(sneeze)" most people would stop talking to you and walk away. It makes me giggle now thinking about saying it.

B.

Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard - There is a girl in the video that I have alway thought was hot. She did a weird thing with her eyes.

Take on Me - A-ha - Probably one of the first videos that I can remember with a plot.

The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson - Although Jacko in an alley right now would scare almost anyone I think that was a great video with a hot girl that was never ever seen again.

We're taking bets that I am a target...

People who have known me over the last years know that I am a target of random acts of destruction. Mainly this has occurred to my cars, but there has been other stuff as well. It goes all the way back to when I was a wee youth at Western New England College. I was in charge of the softball marathon and my backpack was stolen and burned to a crisp with all of my notebooks in it. Granted I didn't take great notes, but I took some.

This morning when I went to my car I noticed something on the ground near the back of my car. I looked up and noticed my rear window was smashed. Now this is the first Random Act of Destruction to my Jeep. The Daewoo(Woo for short) had two such incidents. A window was smashed out when I was at AIC and someone had done Riverdance on my roof while I was at UMass Lowell. Both of those could be explained due to the fact that I was working at colleges and a disciplinarian. There was also a good chance that people were drunk when it happened. Luckily my bosses at the time were very generous and paid my deductibles.

This time I am living in Springfield and there is no reimbursement. So $346.50 later I have a fixed window and no one to blame but life. Sometimes life does suck. I know that it is worse for many others but don't you just wish that normal people could catch a small break once in a while?

We're taking bets that some signs mean nothing...

Signs that are posted are usually pretty good. When a sign tells me to yield I pay attention. If a sign tells me there might be heavy traffic ahead I might take that into consideration when choosing which exit to take. When a sign says "Warped Tour Closed" I don't know what the hell that means. I now know it means "Your life will be fucked up for the next hour>Enjoy."

The Warped Tour is usually a rocking concert that lasts all day. Some of the acts this year were Transplants, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Offspring, Thrice, Dropkick Murphys, Relient K, and Strung Out. There is also 30 to 40 other acts that you probably have never heard of unless you are Mark Stern or my brother. It is a must see concert for many kids between the age of 12 and 24. I have never attended, although this year's line-up really was exciting to me.

This Monday was The Warped Tour's appearence in Northampton, MA. I just happened to be going to Northampton to see March of the Penguins and grab a bite to eat at Fitzwillys. Now you might ask why go to Northampton to see March of the Penguins when it is playing at any Showcase Cinema in the country. Well for that I blame Ian who said let's go to the Pleasant St. Theater. So on our way up 91 to exit 18 we saw a large sign that said "Warped Tour Closed". We thought that meant you cannot get any tickets to The Warped Tour. We then saw a sign that stated concert traffic should exit at exit 19. So when we approached exit 18 we hit some traffic. This was understandable because there was a concert going on. That is where the common sense ended.

The next three exits were blocked by state troopers and flares. Traffic was also moving at less than 10 miles an hour. We ended going over 13 miles out of our way before we got to Deerfield and we could turn around. Now I contend that there absolutely, positively should have been a sign saying exits 18-19 & 21 are closed. (For some reason there is no 20.) That way people could drive at their normal pace and get off either before that exit or just waited. The other confusing thing is that traffic was allowed to get off at any of the Southbound exits. What the heck is that all about? We have moved so far along in technology, but we cannot announce that three exits are closing. They could have even abbreviated it like IMer's do. I would have been fine with that. I would have needed my IM to English dictionary, but I would have been fine with that. LOL.

We're taking bets that I didn't have teachers like this...

I guess I am at a loss for words when it comes to teachers like Pamela Rogers Turner. She, a 28 year old school teacher, slept with a 13 year old. I know that kids are having sex younger and younger, but come on. Maybe with kids their own age, but not adults. I am sure that this was consentual, though I bet there would be a debate over whether a 13 year old would understand consentual sex. I say he absolutely would, but that is just me.

My second thought is what the heck is up with that boy's mother. She hoped that it did not go to trial. She is a family friend? Yeah a family friend who is sleeping with your 13 year old boy. Sometimes I just don't understand parents. There must be something definitely wrong with that mother.

Lastly why didn't I ever have a hot teacher. The closest I had was Ms. Spinelli in 3rd grade but I wasn't quite ready to accept that girls were pretty yet. Plus she got married during the year and never came back. I think that every guy who saw the video for Van Halen's Hot for Teacher hoped we would have a gorgeous teacher some day and we always ended up with Nell Carter or Rosanne Barr. I mean look at Pamela and Debra Lafave these are gorgeous married women who decided to sleep with young teenage boys. Craziness.


Pamela Turner Rogers













Debra Lafave

We're taking bets that it has been a year...

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of We're Taking Bets That... A lot of things have changed since that first post. People have stopped almost 20,000 times in the past year. I used to work at UMass Lowell and now I work for the City of Springfield. (desperately hoping that changes soon) Everyone is now a year older. Babies have been born, relationships have began and ended. Controversy has been had especially on these pages. Truths were told. I have been hated and loved 100 times over. You know Jonathan Larson said it best in his play Rent.

How do you measure a year in the life

How about Love
how about love
how about love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love

I hope everyone has enjoyed my blog a little and year 2 is just as good. See you all tomorrow in cyberspace.

We're taking bets that women around the world are screaming, NO...

Today I read a very interesting article. The basics of the article concerned fat on women's thighs. The article was saying that this fat could have health benefits. Now all these women who are working out like fiends to look like Jessica Alba and Natalie Portman are actually doing damage to themselves. Of course the medical community really has absolutely no clue whatsoever as to what is really good for you. Some people smoke until they are 90 and never get lung cancer and others like Dana Reeve never smoke at all and get lung cancer. The guy who lost a ton of weight by running died of a heart attack while running. I just wish there was someone that would tell me that Nutty Bars were healthy and we should eat them everyday.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Eva La Rue of ABC's All My Children will now be the hottest DNA Analyst ever. She will be seen this fall on CSI Miami as Boa Vista. She has been a doctor on All My Children so I think she can pull this off. I for one am taken by her incredible smile. In every picture that you see of her she always has a great smile.

We're taking bets that answering questions was never so easy...

Question time again here at WTBT. Please post your answer in the comments section. Invite friends to answer. Open up some dialogue. Give it a try. You can be anonymous. Have fun.

A. Each generation has it's "I remember exactly where I was when" event. Besides 9/11 and the Challenger explosion what is the next biggest event for you? Why was it important to you?

B. Is it better to have dreams that will never come to pass, or to have no dreams at all?

Answers:

A. For me it would have to be the O.J. Simpson "Not Guilty" Verdict. I was at Western New England College at the time and it was then I realized how divided our country is racially. Although at the time I thought it was the right verdict because I didn't think they proved beyond a reasonable doubt he did it. I did not think the verdict was because of race. I had not thought race was a factor at all, but seeing how people around me reacted really made me look at race differently. I realized that there was no way I could always see everyone as a unique individual regardless of their race, sex, or religion. There would always be things to taint my view and that I would have to work hard everyday to try and see people as they are and not by the preconceived notions I had. 9/11 just reinforced that for me.

B. I think it is much better to have dreams that never come to pass, because you can always have hope. What good would it be to only have dreams that will come true? I know that I have a few dreams that probably will never come to pass, but I am going to continue dreaming about them and even pursuing them in some instances.

WTBT Volume Twenty-Three...

We're taking bets that...

* if there is a can of paint sitting precariously on a ledge I am going to knock it over.
* it sucks seeing Ty Law in a NY Jets uniform.
* there will be voting issues with Katherine Harris' Senate race.
* you were relieved to hear that the Shuttle landed safely in California.
* the arbitrator made a mistake reducing cameraman beating Kenny Rogers's suspension from baseball to 13 games.
* Dana Reeve could not have more bad news in her life.
* seeing the Runaway Bride mowing lawns as community service made you smile.
* there is now a way to convince your kids to put down the video game controller. Potential Death.
* Sidney Crosby will make you want to watch hockey again.
* you miss Ace of Base.
* the USC Trojans will probably be the best Offensive Team ever in college football this year.
* Tristan Prettyman will be a huge breakout star.
* Tiger will win the PGA Championship by 5 strokes.
* if you've stolen a car don't pull another driver over for running a stop sign.
* you hope you get to live a life like this couple.

We're taking bets that we all have things to say...

Here are a couple of random thoughts over the past two days.

* Marc Cohn was shot in the head during a car jacking attempt and survived. This brought up two thoughts in my head. Marc Cohn is still alive? I thought he died after winning a Grammy for Walking in Memphis. Who puts out such a great CD and follows it up with absolutely nothing? Secondly he was shot in the head treated and released. What is this guy Superman? If I was shot in the head and survived I would be in the hospital for weeks getting pampered and asking for extra morphine.

* Tony Graffanino has become the newest Red Sox hero. Hopefully he has made Mark "Strike Three" Bellhorn expendable. When is the last time you have seen a 2nd baseman intentionally walked with a guy on third? It happened last night after his 3 for 3, 1 HR, 4 RBI night.

* Talk about being a little late with your decision. Jurors in the Michael Jackson trial now regret his acquittal. Maybe you regret that your fifteen minutes of fame are up and you are trying to get fifteen more.

* Reason #863 Why Starbucks is better than Dunkin Donuts... You don't get gross liquid sugar in your Ice Coffee. I didn't even know that was an option until today. Disgusting. It is worse than when the sugar doesn't melt and you get a sugar ball through your straw. ICK!!!

We're taking bets that I've got spirit, yes I do, I've got spirit, How about you???

For everyone that says cheerleading is useless I now have a response. Cheerleaders foil hit and run. Thank God for the cheerleaders. :)

We're taking bets that he knew all aboot the news...

Peter Jennings of ABC World News Tonight passed away at the age of 67 from lung cancer. He was the last of the big three news anchors who all started in the early 80's. I will always remember him for his anchoring of the ABC Y2K celebration and his calm, cool demeanor during 9/11. Although he was picked on for being Canadian he received his American citzenship in 2003. It seems like a great era of television news has gone. Never to be seen again.

1938 - 2005

We're taking bets that you haven't lived until you have seen fighting chickens...

Has everyone seen the new Pepsi Commercial? It is an absolute riot. I know that there are people whose lives are dedicated to making us laugh or cry due to their commercial ideas but how do they keep things original. Though I guess some just use old ideas and make update them today like the some of the new Coke Commercials or the new Coke Zero Commercials. I am glad that Chicken of the Sea had gotten rid of Jessica Simpson and gone to funnier ads. Though I think they should bring back Charlie Tuna.

The last commercial I will show you will never be seen in the United States because we are way too PC. Enjoy this and if you get offended oh well. :) Kidnapping Attempt.

We're taking bets that Chief Wahoo isn't upset so why is everyone else...

I have tried to figure out how to write this post without offending people and I finally figured there was no way to do this. I have spent a good time researching this topic and although I cannot claim that I am an expert I think I am now somewhat knowledgable. I will try to make this as funny as possible because I think it is ridiculous.

The NCAA is banning the use of American Indian mascots at all sanctioned Championship Tournaments starting on February 1, 2006. There are 18 teams in the NCAA that have team names that either honor American Indians or are just called Indians. Only one team uses the somewhat offensive term of Redmen although they may be named after America's Oldest Fraternal Organization the Improved Order of Red Men. I am not sure about that. Why have we become so freaking crazy about stuff like this.

I understand that one of the great things about being in America is that you can have your opinion and express it without fear of persecution. What I don't get is why we have gotten to the point where almost everything we do is offensive. I understand that over 100 years ago our American ancestors did a lot of awful things to the native people of this land. But now we have some places that are honoring their memory by naming their teams after them. Would people be complaining if there was a team named The Lincolns after Abraham Lincoln because he was assassinated? It would upset people because everytime you saw their mascot in a stovepipe hat you would think about his assassination and then the kids would giggle because assassination has the word "ass" in it twice. What if a college wanted to name their team after George Washington Carver and their mascot was a peanut? Would that be offensive even though the man found over 300 uses for peanuts.

I am glad that some of the teams are going to fight this ruling. The Florida Seminoles were named in 1947 to honor the Seminole Indians. They have even gotten permission from the Seminole Indian tribe to continue to use the name. I can't wait until the PETA people get a hold of this. What if all of the people from Troy rise up and protest the USC Trojans? What if the radical Catholics get confused and think it is offensive too because you shouldn't use condoms? Pretty soon all of our teams will no longer be able to have any person, place or thing as team names and it will be just concepts. I don't think I could root for the Boston Ideas or the Los Angeles Thoughts. I am adding this to the growing list of why the rest of the world hates the United States. We fight over the most ridiculous things. Well I am off to watch the Boston Red Sox. I hope that doesn't upset anyone who likes to go barefoot.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Elizabeth Banks from Pittsfield, MA. She has been in both Spider-man movies as Betty Brant and will be in the new movie 40 Year Old Virgin. It is good to see a New England girl making good in Hollywood.

We're taking bets that the answers have changed...

The lovely people at WTBT offices have decided to move the questions of the week to Thursdays. Many people try to get away on Fridays and have no time to think about these important life-changing questions. Hopefully this will elicit(yes this is the correct spelling) more responses. As always put your answers in the comments section.

A. If you could choose only two movies to watch ever again, what would they be?

B. What sounds make you angry or as Dane Cook would say, "Make you want to punch babies"?

Answers

A. This is a very tough call. I would have to say that I could watch The Godfather and The Shawshank Redemption over and over again. If there was only two movies I could choose than I would have to choose only one drama. Shawshank has a more feel good ending and one of my favorite quotes ever in, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." So I would choose that movie. My second movie would have to be a comedy of some sort and knowing my sappy nature it would probably have to be a romantic comedy. With that being said When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Notting Hill and Serendipity make the cut. Since I can only have one Meg Ryan movie then Sleepless in Seattle is out. Serendipity is wonderful though I don't think Kate Beckinsale can beat Julia Roberts though Hugh Grant and John Cusak are in a dead heat. So it is down to Apricots in Honey and Rob Reiner's mother saying, "I'll have what she's having." I think it has to be When Harry Met Sally, because Billy Crystal's rants about men and women being friends are classic. Plus I love when he moans about his 24 hour tumor. So there you have it... The Shawshank Redemption and When Harry Met Sally. Man that was tough.

2. Not that I condone punching babies, but there is currently one sound that drives me up a wall and may make me punch a baby. When I hear idiots yelling "What" like Dave Chappelle did imitating Lil John on Chappelle's Show. When Dave Chappelle did it I laughed, but when others do it they cannot stop. Unfortunately Charlie Murphy says that this great show is now over, but maybe it will stop idiots from screaming it.

WTBT Volume 22 300th POST!!!

We're taking bets that...

* there is something soothing about the Bank of America radio commercials that really makes you want to switch.
* you knew Richard Seymour and the Patriots were going to work it out quickly.
* it doesn't faze you anymore when you hear news that American soldiers have died in Iraq.
* you can't believe the Shaq took a pay cut and is still going to make $100 million over 5 years.
* it sucks being fooled by a mall map that says a store exists but it actually isn't open yet.
* the appointment of John Bolton to the UN is going to bite GWB in the ass.
* the Celtics are going to get the better of the Antoine Walker deal in the long run.
* you are always behind the person going 15 MPH when you have to get home and go to the bathroom.

* there is something hot about a girl wearing a baseball cap at Fenway Park.

* this guy had a real bad day.

* Chris Pronger could return the Edmonton Oilers to Stanley Cup glory.
* when you are in a rush a one row escalator sucks.
* the Space Shuttle landing will be one of the most watched events NASA has had in a long time.
* if you are a Red Sox fan you are getting tired of Manny's antics, but you love his hitting.
* you should listen to Ray Lamontagne's CD. It is one for the ages.
* walking into a door that you thought was an automatic door is not fun.
* Adidas only got stronger by acquiring Reebok and should give Nike a run for their money.
* I now know why older people save all of their change.
* the Cincinnati Bengals are going to make the playoffs this year.
* the Detriot Lions will not.
* ESPN's Sportcenter has had a real cool promotion with it's 50 states in 50 days.
* you don't know anyone who likes Will Smith's song "Switch", but you hear it on the radio constantly.
* you don't know what movie this line is from... "Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob."
* college students are going to start protesting the war in Iraq like they did in the lates 60's and early 70's.
* Jessica Simpson makes Daisy Duke hot for the first time ever, because Catherine Back was cute, but she was never hot.
* you cannot believe that Joe Paterno is still coaching at Penn State. I think he was around when they invented football.
* the AHL is going to be a better hockey league now that my brother has been hired to work for them. Congrats Rob.

We're taking bets that his pants are on fire...

Holy Crap!!! Rafael Palmeiro was suspended 10 days for steroids. Although I can't prove myself that he did it I think the guy is a freaking liar. He accepted his punishment, but said he didn't intentionally do it and didn't know how they got into his body. Yep, I am sure that is true and John Pinette isn't a fat comedian. Raffy's high horse is now a My Little Pony. It just makes me wonder if Jason "I couldn't hit a baseball if my life depended on it" Giambi is back on the sauce. He hit 14 home runs in July and his head is looking a little big. :)

We're taking bets that Dane Cook is a silly bitch...

On Tuesday July 26th the first ever Double CD and DVD comedy disc came out. It was put out by one of the best stand-up comedian's of the 90's/00's generation Dane Cook. This will probably be a very biased view because I have been a fan of Dane since 1995. I have seen him 4 times in the last 12 months. So you can say that I am a big fan. That being said here is my review.

Retaliation is made up of 2 CD's and one DVD. Each disc has its own name. Disc One(CD) is WANT, Disc Two(CD) is NEED, and Disc Three(DVD) is HAVE. The discs are special in their own way.

WANT has you laughing from the second you put it in. Legacy and the Heist/Monkey bits are probably some of his best bits. He is absolutely no holds barred on this disc. My favorite moment is how he dealt with a heckler and his response after. He able to go with the flow and never stops being funny. Dane also does some new bits that definitely kill the audience. I think everyone will now want to be a BAMF.

NEED starts out with some older material that has been scene on some of his television appearences. It definitely works especially the Friend That Nobody Likes. It is funny because it is true. He then busts out with some great new material about Love. Exaggerating GF/Bachelor will leave you rolling in the aisle.

HAVE is probably the most disappointing of the set. The Shorties Watching Shorties is a hilarious cartoony view of his material. The Crank Yankers' stuff is not all that funny. Most disappointing is the unedited version of the Dennis Leary roast. Dane was not having his best night and only had a couple of funny bits. The Ed Lover/Dr. Dre comment was pretty funny. The exciting thing about the HAVE DVD was the teaser for the TOURGASM DVD that will be coming out this fall. This should be one of the best comedy Documentaries ever. It follows Dane with 3 other comedians(Jay Davis, Gary Gulman, & Robert Kelly) who do 20 shows in 30 days. It looks like a riot.

Retaliation is out nationwide selling for $14.99. It is absolutely worth every penny. Go out and buy it now so the DaneTrain can keep his funny rolling into our hearts. :)

We're taking bets that it is time for a break...

WTBT will be on hiatus until Sunday. As we approach our 300th column and the one year anniversary we will be doing some new features. I am looking for feedback of this site. Do people enjoy the Friday questions? Is the Hottie of the Week worth it? Should there be two original WTBT's a week as opposed to just the one normally? Are the Movie and Music quizzes fun? These and many more questions can be explored in the comments section. All suggestions will be taken under consideration except for ones that ask me to stop. Those will get a BIG FU! :) Thanks to all my readers for your help.

Side note to add. Principals and teachers do a wonderful job educating the youth of the nation. I would also like to say that about 40% of them are arrogant pricks who think that can treat people however the fuck they want. Just because you teach or are more "book" educated than another person does not mean you are smarter. If you are a teacher or deciding to become one remember that you are not the only ones helping to educate children. Custodians, food service staff and tradesmen work hard to keep the buildings functioning and help to meet the basic needs of children. If you don't have AC too fucking bad because most of the world doesn't. People are working to fix your problem, but not everything is fixed immediately. - Thank you.

We're taking bets that you know you've had a bad haircut when you stand up in the chair and say, "What are you doing?"...

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I GET A GOOD HAIRCUT IN THE WESTERN MA/NORTHERN CT AREA? There are not a lot of things that I look at on myself and say that I love this feature about myself. With that being said I have always liked my hair. It is probably because when I was little I got complimented by a hair dresser that my Mom took me to and she said I had great hair. This has actually happened many times since by hair dressers from around the New England area. I try my best to take care of my hair. I know it is nothing spectacular, but I condition regularly and try to use a gentle shampoo.

For the last 4 1/2 years I have been getting my hair cut here. They always treated me well and I got exactly what I wanted from my hair cut. It was $15 and it included a wash(which every guy should get because it feels great). Now that I have moved back I have gotten 4 haircuts and only 2 of them were good and the other 2 were just average. I made the huge mistake of going into Mastercuts. I had went their once before and got a pretty good cut so I thought I would try it again. I got the same lady and was figuring this was going to be quick and easy. Unfortunately I was right.

I asked the lady to use "zero" on the sides with a fade and just trim a little off of the top. I believe, but I am not positive that I even said not too short. She did fine with the sides and was doing a pretty good job on the fade and then it happened. She has to switched to the "2" attachment on the trimmer, which I thought was just finish off the fade.

So, she started on the side and then in a moment that I will never forget she started to shave the top of my head with the trimmer. I was in disbelief and hoped that I could stop it. I stood up and exclaimed, "What are you doing?!?". Yes I exclaimed and I believe that both of my arms waved frantically in the air if you all must know. The lady then said, "What?" I said I asked for just a trim on the top. She said "Oh."

I am not sure what the proper response is at that point, but "Oh" is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear "I'm sorry" or "I will give you free bad haircuts for the next year." She then said I am not done and it will look better. Since I didn't want a haircut that looked like it was done by Fudge from Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. I had to have her finish it and paid her for it. (I know I shouldn't have paid for it, but what if you made a mistake at work and they didn't pay you.) I now look like a fuzzy peach.

Ugh. I will now go back to driving an hour and a half to Lowell to get my haircut. It may sound ridiculous, but these are the measures people with good hair have to go to. I know it will grow out, but no one wants to hear that. Especially women, so guys don't try that line. Just sympathize with them and snicker when you are sure you are alone.

Side note: CONGRATS TO DANIELLE & STEVE on their engagement. Very happy for the both of them. Danielle is a good friend, avid blog reader & commenter and my best Leitch ARD evah. Smiles and hugs to you.

We're taking bets that I cannot tell a lie... I did chop down that cherry tree..

No one would mistake me for Paul Bunyan. Well except for the fact that I have a blue ox. (Oops not supposed to mention my imaginary pets.) That being said my parents wanted to have one of the trees near their pool cut down. It blocks some of the afternoon sun and litters the pool with leaves and branches. So I said that I thought we could take care of it. I may have even said, "No Problem." Oh what a mistake that would be.

The tree is about 45 feet tall and over 38 years old. (This was determined much later.) So we started by cutting a few of the lower lying branches. These were relatively simple and I used the old rickety wooden ladder and a simple saw. We then decided that we would tackle the upper 1/3 of the tree.

Now the upper part of the tree leans toward the pool. We tied a rope to the upper part of the tree, which my mother and father were pulling towards the other side of the yard away from the pool. My brother held the rickety ladder and I went up the tree with the chainsaw. I am now 20 to 25 feet in the air with a chainsaw in one hand and a rickety ladder in the other. Now we had discussions of making a wedge cut into the tree, but I thought we had decided just to make a diagonal cut up the tree. This was again a mistake in judgment.

The chainsaw was making a quick incision into the tree. There was then a large cracking noise over the sound of the chainsaw. I looked up and saw that the tree was careening down towards me. My parents pulling was useless and now death was looking at me with bark in it's eyes. I let go of the button on chainsaw and deftly moved to the right of the falling tree. It just grazed me and gave me some minor scrapes. About 8 feet of the tree went into the pool, while the rest of the tree hung on for dear life. The chainsaw got stuck in the tree. Once my family noticed I was still on the rickety ladder their main concern was for the pool fence. Of course I could have been on the rickety ladder in shock with my hand cut off and no one would have noticed, but that is alright. I am not bitter. :)

Although we ended up winning the battle with the tree in the end it definitely won the first round. I would suggest to everyone that unless the tree is under 20 feet tall get a professional to cut down the tree. With that being said it did feel good to accomplish something dangerous without killing myself. Evil Knievel I am not. Super Dave maybe.

We're taking bets that the time for Retaliation is here...

I apologize for everyone who is waiting for my near death experience, but it has been a very busy week. A little preview is TREE 1 GREG 0.

Now to important business. Dane Cook's new double disc CD/DVD RETALIATION is now in stores. Run out and buy it and listen to it like crazy. It will be a freaking riot. I will be doing a review of it on Sunday. Have a great day. Hopefully I will get to blog more later tonight. In the mean time I am off to fight a monkey. Toodles.

We're taking bets that actions speak louder than words...

It has been quite the interesting weekend. I had major car trouble on my way to Lowell and never ended up getting there. I bought an interesting book called The Historian. Ended up seeing The Island. There is something wonderful to be said about a no nonsense action movie. Michael Bay is probably become the foremost director of action movies today. You did not need to think too much in this movie and the action scenes were incredible. Scarlett Johannsson is a hottie from another planet. I highly recommend that everyone go see it. Ladies Ewan McGregor is in it too so there is some eye candy for you as well. Tomorrow I will enlighten everyone with my near death experience.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Shawnee Smith previously from the TV Show Becker. She was also in the movie Saw. She is a wicked hottie briefly in The Island starring as Steve Buscemi's girlfriend. Not a spectacular hottie, but nice girl next door who can dress slutty once in a while. :)

We're taking bets that Friday is a time for a question

Once again Friday has arrived and it is time for WTBT's weekly question. I hope that everyone enjoys. Have a great weekend.

A. If you could have a secret camera in any room in the world, what room would you put it in?

B. If you could have the world's largest collection of one thing, what would it be?

Answers:

A. I think that I would put a secret camera in the room that the President makes most of his decisions. It would be neat to find out the information he/she has before a decision is made.

B. I would like the world's largest collection of DVD's that way I could watch any movie at any time I wanted. I am trying, but I don't have quite the number needed for the largest collection.

We're taking bets that Scotty has been beamed up for good...

James Doohan died today at the age of 85. He was best known for being Scotty on the original Star Trek series. He was an amazing master of dialects and also someone who did not need Viagra. He had 9 children from three different wives with his last child coming at the age of 80. It seems like he wasn't telling his wives that, "I'm giving you all I've got Captain." :) I believe he died with a smile on his face.

In other freakish news there is an epidemic amongst the youth of today involving suffocation games. What you say? Yes, I said suffocation games. Better known as "blackout," "funky chicken," "space monkey," "flatliner," "tingling," and "suffocation roulette." Now I have to say what the fuck is going on with our kids today. I did a lot of stupid things as a kid such as bottle rocket tag and setting vegetables on fire and throwing them at others, but nothing as stupid as these near death experiences. Being a parent today just seems to be getting tougher and tougher. To all of my kid readers... Don't Do Drugs and don't fake it by strangling yourself either. There has got to be a better way to get a quick high. How about running in circles until you can't stand anymore. That is cool and at the very least you could only crack your head open on the pavement.

We're taking bets that pigs are people too...

Crime fighters everywhere are mourning the loss of Arnold. Arnold was a big fat pig. He loved donuts like most pigs do and loved to fight crime. Although he was a little bit out of shape he was able to foil robbers at gun-point. Too bad his heart just couldn't take all of the excitement.

We're taking bets that the movie world is crazy...

Here are three stories that prove that movie executives are absolutely nuts.

ET?

Depp as a Woman?

Smurf Comeback?

I am too shocked to even truly comment. Just stew with this for a while.

We're taking bets that cheaters never win...

What is wrong with the world today? Jude Law has cheated on Sienna Miller with his kids nanny. What was wrong with Sienna? She is absolutely gorgeous. She is smart, sexy, and 9 years younger than him. Why did he cheat? Probably because he could. He was caught by his son and turned himself into his ex-wife, who in turned fired the nanny. Now he is apologizing and saying he is going to make it up to her. By doing what? Kobe bought his wife a huge diamond. Maybe that will work for Sienna, but I don't think so. I think that she should have him publically flogged by all of the people that hated Alfie. He won't be able to sit for months. I also think that she should hook up with his mortal enemy Clive Owen. (Not sure this is true, but they are both British and were enemies in Closer. So I think there must be some hatred. Maybe Hugh Grant would be a better choice because a lot of people hate him.) I swear that if you are famous you feel like you can do anything. Granted plenty of other losers(men & women) cheat but celebrities always get caught. Well here is a picture of Sienna Miller because I think she needs some respect. :)

We're taking bets that the chocolate was delicious...

So I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this weekend. It was absolutely fantastic. Visually it was stunning and although Johnny Depp was a little weird he really was great. The story line was a little bit different from the original and I think that it made it a little more family friendly. I do have a couple of random thoughts regarding the weekend though...

* Why is it Movie Theaters cannot figure out temperature controls. There is almost never a happy medium at the movie theater. It was about 8 billion degrees in the movie theater on Satuday. Normally during the summer you need to bring a winter coat but this time bikinis and swim trunks were needed. Which really would have been super gross with some of the people there.

* How does leaving a half empty cup save a seat? I guy was trying to save two seats. (One was for him), but he got up and went across the room to talk to friends. All he left was a half empty cup of soda in the cup holder to save his seat and then he freaked out that people were trying to take his seat. If you are not going to sit in the seats you are saving then you must bring some article of clothing that you can drape across the seats. I think there should be a rule book about this that everyone should know.

* Do you ever notice that the most annoying laughers always sit behind you at the movies? Especially when there is going to be a lot of funny stuff. We happened to sit in front of the family of weird laughers. I think that they didn't know when to laugh so they just did freakish laughs all the time.

* Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is a must read. The entire series is actually a must read. I don't care if you are not a teacher and not 10 years old. You should read these books. No arguments. Just do it.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Maria Sharapova is a tennis superstar. She has a beautiful face with ungodly legs. Anna Kournikova is no longer the reason to watch women's tennis. Maria is. Hopefully she keeps winning and has a career as long as her legs.

We're taking bets that it is question time again...

So Friday is here and questions are abound. I would like to be a little controversial with the first question and hear what people really think. Remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion, so please don't attack people's opinions. The second question will be as fun as always. Please answer them in the comments section.

A. Many people think that smoking cigarettes is a disgusting habit. Others say it is a sad addiction that has been marketed to our youth as cool. What do you think about smoking? Don't hold back in your responses.

B. If you knew that every minute of the next 24 hours of your life would be recorded on camera, is there anything you would change about your habits? Would you do it for free if it gave you infinite fame or would you need to be paid to do it?

Answers:

A. I do think that smoking is a disgusting thing, but it is also something that is very addicting. Many people around the age of 30 were just starting to hear all of the bad things about smoking when they were kids. I think that is awful that kids today start smoking though the cigarette companies are now targeting the less informed urban areas. There just does not seem to be any redeeming qualities in it. What frustrates me is the fact that smokers seem to think it is okay to just throw their cigarettes anywhere they want. Out their car windows... on the grounds... into bubblers... That makes it even worse. Don't even get me started on how awful the smell is. I lived next door to a girl who wore a glove on her smoking hand because she didn't like the way it made her hand smell. The problem was her hand was the only thing that smelled nice because the rest of her smelled like a smoking ass. I feel very sorry for the people who have become addicted, but please try to quit. It will be better for you and better for everyone.

B. I would absolutely not change a thing. I would even do it for free. I mean my life is very boring, but I think it would be a fun time. I probably would sleep for 18 of the hours anyway. Riveting TV. They could call the show the GMAD Follies. :)

We're taking bets that you need to keep crackers close by...

Interesting story for the day. Polly wants a cracker. Owners of birds have perhaps the pets with the biggest flight risk. (No pun intended) It is amazing that these people were able to get their bird back. I would assume that most birds would be gone like the wind when they were out of their cages. Most bird cages are not that big and birds are usually meant to fly free. Except for penguins and ostriches which flying really isn't happening. These people were able to lure the bird with crackers as pizza just wasn't that effective. Thank God for those little elves at Keebler or this would still be a bird on a wire.

WTBT Volume 21...

We're taking bets that...

* most of America's youth will be occupied Saturday with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
* with no more baseball in the Olympics the World Baseball Classic is a good idea.
* hearing a 60+ year old women yell on the phone about Viagra is funny.
* there is no way that GWB is not going to pick a Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.
* the Home Run Derby is fun, but it lasts way too long.
* Mariah Carey's boob falling out of her dress was probably a lot more spectacular than Janet Jackson's.
* you are still amazed by Lance Armstrong.
* it could be the war to end all cartoon wars if The Simpsons & Family Guy go head to head.
* I hate Gary Sheffield because he is a fucking punk. How stupid is this guy?
* teenagers are getting the short end of the stick. How ridiculous is this rule?
* it is sad that men are intimidated by a 15 year old girl.
* although couples therapy is probably a good idea Denise Richards is making a mistake taking back Charlie Sheen.
* Tiger Woods will win the British Open by 6 strokes.
* Brad Pitt has malaria.
* I thought you got a "D" in Math.
* the Space Shuttle launch just isn't as exciting as it used to be.
* you are excited that NFL Training Camps are only a few weeks away.

We're taking bets that you were born too early...

Textbooks in schools are starting to become dinosaurs. Issuing laptops to high school students is a scary idea. Not because they should still be using books, but because most of them cannot find their house keys never mind keeping track of their laptops. I wonder how many will be lost or stolen in the first year. Some parents won't be able to afford replacement costs.

It is amazing how fast technology moves. I was one of the few people who brought a computer to college when I went and the internet was barely invented by Al Gore. :) Now two computers are becoming the norm as a laptop is used in class and a tower unit is for the dorm room. Sadly we are now moving away from going to class and having classes on-line. It is pretty tough to skip class when you are in your room while it is on your computer. I sometimes wish I was born a little bit later so that I could reap the benefits of this technology. Maybe I wouldn't have been called a slacker like McFly.

We're taking bets that even puppets can lose stardom...

I think that Thirst from the Sprite commercials had something to do with this. Either that or the pets.com puppet escaped from a mental institution.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Rachel McAdams is super fantastical. She has shown that she can do comedy like in Mean Girls and the new Wedding Crashers. She has proved to be a great romantic lead in The Notebook. She is going to be the next Julia Roberts. She has great hair and a wonderful smile.
Rachel's girl next door look could make any guy follow her around like a puppy.

We're taking bets that cool is as cool does...

As most of the United States gets doused with rain I thought I could give you a couple of fun questions. As always post your answers in the comments section. Have a great rainy Friday!!!

A. The movie War of the Worlds poses the idea that there is intelligent life out beyond Earth. Do you think there is intelligent life out in space or are we the only ones?

B. What is the worst food combination you can think of? An example: baked beans with liver and strawberries...

Answers:

A. Of course there has to be other intelligent life than us. Many of us are too arrogant to think that we are only ones in the Universe.

B. I would have to say that pickles and peanut butter. I love them both separately, but together they must be one of the most disgusting thing ever.

We're taking bets that this is the thunderdome...

Many of you know that I am a huge Dane Cook fan. He is absolutely hilarious comedian and the entire world needs to be introduced to his humor. He has a new double disc CD and DVD coming out at the end of July called Retaliation. I have found a movie trailer that he is going to be in called Waiting. It looks like a freaking riot and it stars Ryan Reynolds from Van Wilder. I think that Dane is going to steal the show as the cook Floyd. Just thought everyone would like to know.

We're taking bets that hot foot won't get you married...

Now a lot of people have great stories about getting engaged. Most of them are romantic or involve some idiot proposing at a sporting event. (Is there any woman on earth who thinks this is really romantic?) Well the now is a new way to propose to your significant other... SETTING YOURSELF ON FIRE!!! Are you kidding me? There is more than a fire in his loins for this women. This had a chance to be an incredibly tragic incident and he is lucky that now the only pain he will receive is nagging from his wife. (Ladies don't be mad that last line was just a joke.)

We're taking bets that a war is coming...

So I went to see War of the Worlds last night. It seems like everytime we encounter aliens in movies these days they are always hostile towards us. What happened to friendly aliens? I mean ET loved Reese's Pieces, making bikes fly and saying "Eliot" in a creepy voice. ET made Reese's Pieces cool to eat. He was wonderful. Even "The Last Starfighter" had friendly aliens. There has to be other good in the universe. Can't we all just get along.

WTBT Volume 20...

We're taking bets that...

* there is only the game no matter what you might think or try.
* NYC never had a chance at the 2012 Olympics.
* Amos Lee may be one of the new great singers. Check him out.
* Keith Foulke is getting what he deserves after his Burger King comments.
* Jessica Alba will make Fantastic Four worth watching.
* Manny Rameriz will pass Lou Gehrig for most Grand Slams ever before he is through with his career as a Red Sox.
* this headline should scare women everywhere.
* there sure are some fun sports in Europe.
* the littlest Brady Bunch child is making life miserable around the Gulf of Mexico.
* Ray Allen is making a mistake re-signing with the Sonics.
* Live 8 was a great concert, but the reunion of Pink Floyd was a little disappointing.
* Milwaukee's Carlos Lee will run away with the Home Run Derby this year.
* you may not realize it but you can't help but like Gwen Stefani.
* Lance Armstrong may win the Tour de France by his biggest margin ever this year.
* MTV's Real World may have crossed the line with this cast and I am a diehard fan.
* you did not know there was an American Association of Nude Recreation.

We're taking bets that we may need to say good-bye to Today...

Everyone is always looking for the next great hope. Just about every year a fresh faced NBA rookie is dubbed the next Michael Jordan. George Steinbrenner just announced who his successor will be. For years the movie studios have been looking for the next Julia Roberts(my money is on Rachel McAdams). Well now it is happening to the beloved Katie Couric. People are speculating that Alexis Glick will take over for her once her contract is up with NBC. Now she definitely fits the bill as she is quite fetching(ya I said it), but it more of that girl next door beauty. She is definitely smart being a Wall Street genius, but no one can replace Katie. We are all our own individuals. I don't want someone to be the next Greg Madrid(99.9% of the world doesn't want that either) and you shouldn't want someone to become the next you. So stop looking for the next "insert celebrity here" and start getting a life.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie of the Week: The Statue of Liberty. She's a little old, but she is all that. Very tall and strong symbolizing everything that is good about America. The only issue is she has let a lot of people see under her dress. :) HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!





















PS I had to have some random lady in a flag bikini. :)

We're taking bets that it is Friday question time...

Hey Everybody!!! I hope that you have a great Fourth of July. Here are a couple of quick questions for the weekend. Have fun with them.

A. What is your favorite summer movie of all time?

B. Now that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are married what are some other celebrity marriages you would like to see?

C. What do you find distracts you the most when you are trying to concentrate?

Answers

A. One Crazy Summer with John Cusak and Demi Moore. I mean you don't get much better than that. It is wacky wild Kool-Aid Style.

B. I would like to see the marriage of Jennifer Love Hewitt and Gary Coleman. Wouldn't they make a great couple. Also Lewis Black and Courtney Love because he needs something to make him a little more crazy.

C. For me I think it is the fact that there are usually other people around and I like to people watch. Luckily I can quiet the voices in my head. :)

We're taking bets that it was H-O-T...

The last pieces of Bernie's H-O-T is being torn down in Springfield. Those of you that do not know Bernie's H-O-T(House of Television) it was a fun landmark in the city. They had a huge neon sign that flashed H-O-T. Often the T was out so it just said H-O which is always fun to see on a big neon sign. It is a shame that many landmarks that are not really historic, but always remind you of an area get torn down. I am sure this happens all over the United States. The local Tasty Freeze gets torn down for a Wal-Mart. I am glad to say I bought a TV at Bernie's H-O-T. Well actually Kathi bought it and while she got the ring I got the TV in the break-up. Still have it to this day. Thanks Bernie's H-O-T.

WTBT Volume Nineteen...

We're taking bets that...

* you are going to scream if you hear any more crap from Tom Cruise.
* the Celtics lucked out for the second year in a row to get a fantastic High Schooler in the NBA draft.
* if Lindsay Lohan doesn't have a eating disorder then Elton John isn't gay.
* Keith Foulke needs to take a week off and get his head back into being a dominant closer.
* this Baggage Handler had problems with his package.
* it creeps you out when you see a 50+ year old man dating a woman in her 20's.
* everytime Maria Sharapova wins Wimbledon officials are psyched.
* it's good to know you can drink stinky water.
* there is nothing George Steinbrenner can do about his Yankees except be frustrated.
* you gotta love the Big Enchilada.
* the DC Nationals Chad Cordero will become the next Mariano Rivera.
* War of the Worlds will be a great movie despite Tom Cruise being in it.
* Jeremy Roenick is an asshole. No matter what he says differently.
* sharks got together and decided to starting attack people.
* tall white guys everywhere are sad now that Shawn Bradley has retired.
* you are hoping that Live 8 can change the world.
* Roger Clemens has had the worst luck this year.
* this headline should read "beer" not "bee". I mean come on he's irish. :)

We're taking bets that is a big freaking baby...

A woman gave birth to an almost 14 pound baby. They named her Shamu and called it a day. Holy Cow she is huge. Go to www.cnn.com and check out the video. It is pretty amazing. Kind of like one of those tabloid babies you see at the check-out counter only she is pretty cute.

We're taking bets that carpenters are cool...

I just wanted to applaud carpenters today as they are amazing people. While I was sweating carrying old motors, air compressors and disgusting chairs down two enormous flights of stairs from a 1,000 degree attic, two carpenters erected(hee hee) a brace for a set of stairs that were starting to collapse. It took them no time at all and seemed to the naked eye to be perfectly straight. You could immediately tell that the stairs were sturdier. I wish I had the talent to build something like that in a short amount of time. We don't always appreciate the work that is done by hand. Carpenters make some fantastic structures and I applaud them.

We're taking bets that summer weekends just fly by...

Here are a couple of random observations over the past weekend.

* Stadler and Waldorf on www.movies.com are a freaking riot. What is even funnier is the DVD critic Pepe the Prawn. When he said that Sandra Bullock's new movie was Miss Congenitalia 2 I think I peed a little laughing so hard.

* it is awesome being a passenger on long trip. You get to see so many great things such as strange men standing by a mailbox in the woods or fun signs that say things you have never seen before.

* almost any time spent on a beach is a great time. You can do some unbelievable people watching. From watching freaks and hot women it is a grand old time.

* it is time to bring back some old words and sayings that have not been used in a long time. Three words that I think we should start using on a regular basis are scofflaw, rabble rouser, and wet your whistle.

* sadness overcame the WTBT offices as the voice of Tigger and Gargamel passed away this weekend. I always smile when I hear the song “The Most Wonderful Things About Tiggers” . It is incredibly sad that all the great voices of the past are slowly starting to leave us and we have not replaced them with great voices for our future generations. :(

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Bonnie Somerville who has a new TV show this fall called Kitchen Confidential. She has guest starred on the O.C. and Friends. Bonnie also has an incredible voice as seen on the Garden State Soundtrack.

Posted by Hello

Anther great picture of Bonnie

Posted by Hello

We're taking bets that I have the force...

Saw this one Gigglechick's site. I did a little better than she did. :)

We're taking bets that you have questions and we have answers...

Question time again at the WTBT Offices. Please post your answers in the comments section. Very simple, but fun questions this week. For everyone enjoying the hot weather in New England this weekend please remember the sunscreen. Especially my pasty friends who should invest in some Sherman Williams to prevent burning. :)

A. Many restaurants are now coming up with Celebrity Sandwiches. Basically they are taking things on their menu and naming them after celebrities to be hip. If you could have a sandwich named after you what would it be. You can make up your own or steal an existing one.

B. With summer now in full swing what are your five favorite summer songs. They do not have to be songs about summer, but songs that at least remind you of summer.

Answers:

A. I think that I would be smoked turkey with fresh mozzarella, sundried tomatoes, basil, sliced jalepenos and honey mustard. You could call it the Madrid. Doesn't it make your mouth water.

B.
1. Summertime by Will Smith
2. I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff
3. Every Morning by Sugar Ray
4. Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams
5. Centerfield by John Fogarty

We're taking bets that something needs to be done...

Yesterday I observed something which I cannot believe happened. As I was sitting at a restaurant I was watching a little girl(Not much older than 5) have lunch with her mother. It was not in a stalking way, but rather they were kind of in my line of sight. The restaurant was not very big so I could hear their entire conversation. I could tell the little girl was a handful especially after she yelled out "What's that funny smell?!?" and grabbed her nose.

Now this mother was very patient with her child and I commend her for that. It is what happened next that I was flabbergasted by. The girl told her mother that her fork was on the floor. She then proceeded to take her fork off of the table and drop it on the floor. I couldn't even believe it. The girl then went under the table and picked up her fork. The mother didn't even react at all. Once the daughter came up from the table she wiped off the fork and gave it back to her.

I know that some kids are just looking for a reaction and to give them one will only make it worse. As for me I think there would have been four options.

A. Do Nothing.
B. Leave the restaurant with you child and tell them that you will not go out to restaurants again until they behave like a proper human being.
C. Tell your child that they have to now ask the waiter themselves for a new fork and apologize for dropping the first fork on the floor. If they refuse they will only be able to use a spoon for everything they are eating.
D. After cleaning off the fork, telling them to stick out their hand. Then stab their hand with the fork. You have cleaned off the fork so you can avoid tetanus. I am pretty sure they wouldn't do it again after that.

Does anyone have any other suggestions? Remember this site is supposed to be funny so if you are appalled by my suggestions you need to get a grip.

We're taking bets that we still need a boy and his tiger...

Calvin and Hobbes was one of the greatest comic strips ever. This is with beyond a doubt one of the truest statements that I have ever made. One of the saddest days of my life is January 1, 1996 when the last strip was run. I know that sounds awful when things like 9/11 have happened, but I think a little bit of our innocence died on that day. So many bad things have happened since that day and I think we need Calvin back to rescue us in his Spaceman Spiff suit.
Calvin was an inventor, philosopher, creative genius, poet, and trouble maker. Hobbes was his conscience, best friend, and lady killer. Although there are some great comic strips currently out there today no one has quite captured what Calvin and Hobbes had. I think it makes kids today a little more jaded not having someone to look up to and admire. His way with words made me a little smarter. I don't know how many times I had to go to a dictionary to figure out what a word he said meant. We are missing out on the great wisdom that Calvin and Hobbes once brought to our world. The Runaway Bride would have had learned things from Calvin and not been so stressed. The Lost Boy Scout wouldn't have been so afraid of his rescuers. Maybe life would be a little less stressful and scary. Please Bill Waterson bring back Calvin and Hobbes into our daily comic strips. Maybe I am the only one who misses it, but I can't be. Below are a few of the greatest quotes.

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." - Calvin

"If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some!" - Hobbes

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks." - Calvin

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams we can play together all night!" - Hobbes

"I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!" - Calvin

WTBT Volume 18...

We're taking bets that...

* you love the longest day of the year.
* Robert Horry of the San Antonio Spurs is the best big shot player ever. YES even bigger than Michael.
* Cillian Murphy is taking over for Crispin Glover as the creepiest actor ever. What's even worse is his first name is pronounced Kill-e-an.
* words don't control us.
* there is a small part of you that hopes the Washington Nationals win the World Series.
* the word "nice" can be vulgar.
* the "Mississippi Burning" case is very disturbing.
* F-1 Racing will never be popular in the US. Especially after only 6 cars were able to race in the United States Grand Prix.
* you are not the least bit shocked that Saddam Hussein liked Doritos. They are one of the best foods ever.
* it is fun to have a little devil in you.
* San Diego's Jake Peavy is quietly becoming one of the best pitchers in baseball.
* cities try everything they can to scam you out of your money.
* you actually thought Tiger Woods was going to pull out another win in the US Open.
* Dane Cook is the best comedian to see live currently.
* grapefruit sales are going to go through the roof.
* Terry Francona is going to be an awful All-Star Manager.
* you don't want to admit it, but you will go see Bewitched this weekend.
* UCONN Sports are going to be screwed with coaches losing their ability to make alternative incomes due to their celebrity.
* Tom Cruise handled the water squirter real well, but don't you think he is going to do something real crazy over the next few years to make Michael Jackson look more normal.
* it would be a shame if Barry Bonds doesn't play at all this season.
* you never noticed but everyone who knocks on wood usually knocks on sheetrock and not wood.
* you don't watch PBS, but you should because of shows like P.O.V.
* Maria Sharapova is taking hot to a whole new level in women's tennis.
* change is coming and if you don't watch out you will miss it.

We're taking bets that I have found a glimmer of hope in celebrity romance...

Thank God for Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth. They have reconciled. I hope that they become the next Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward who have been married over 45 years. Maybe there is hope in Hollywood romance.

We're taking bets that Bo needs to be punched...

Bo Bice of American Idol fame is a complete freak. If you have seen him in interviews you know that he is completely full of himself. Now he is saying that he never wanted to win American Idol. BULLSHIT!!! This guy wanted to win very badly. That is like the kid in school who always says, "I let you win" when they lose. I am not a violent person, but people like that deserved to be punched in the face, then dowsed in jelly and sand poured all over them. They will sticky for weeks and the sand is always showing up for weeks after you leave the beach. Hopefully the punch in the face will knock some sense into them. I think I should make a list of people who need a good punch in the face. Much like Goose's ass-kissing list it will be long and distinguished. :)

We're taking bets that I love my Dad...

Being Dad's day I just wanted to leave everyone with a good feeling about father's around the world. Although there are a good number of deadbeat Dads out there most of them are real great men. Listen to last year's NPR story about the lessons passed from one father to a son. Happy Father's Day to all the great Dads including my Dad Ronald S. Madrid.

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Jennifer Aniston has had a rough year. It is time to give her a little love. She is still one of the sexiest women on the planet and she has a smile that can captivate any man.

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Old School picture of Jennifer with her classic hair-do.

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We're taking bets that I was only asking...

Hey all loyal and new readers. It is question time at the WTBT Offices. These are simple questions meant to spark conversation, learn about others and maybe debate some topics. As always I will answer them first and you can post your answers in the comments section. :)

A. Since Batman Begins (check out Ian's Blog about it) came out on Wednesday and The Fantastic Four comes out in a few weeks. I thought this would be an interesting question. If you could be a superhero, which one would you be and why?

B. What news story was more important to you this week? (Michael Jackson's Not Guilty or Terri Schiavo's Autopsy) What are your views on that story?

Answers

A. I would probably be Batman because he is a normal person with no special powers, but determination and a great sense of justice. He also has almost unlimited resources to give himself some really cool toys. He has turned his childhood tragedy into a driving force to help others.

B. I think the Terri Schiavo story was more important to me because that information probably would have made the decision easier to end her life. I am not an advocate of ending another's life, but this seemed like it was the right thing to do now seeing more of the facts. It is a shame that we did not have the fact then when this was an everyday story.

We're taking bets that you don't understand why I love him...

No this is not my attempt to come out of the closet. I have repeatedly ranted about The Sport's Guy Bill Simmons from ESPN.com's Page 2. Well today I read something that just enhanced by love of this guy's writing. It is like he is writing what I think. Scary. Here is the stuff from his article today:


9:27 – Just watched another "War of the Worlds" commercial, which reminds me: Despite all the joy he's provided me over the years, I'm not sure if I can forgive Tom Cruise for what he's done to Katie Holmes. This is the same girl who allowed SNL's Mr. Peepers to spit apple all over her face four years ago and went topless in "The Gift" just for the hell of it – now she's whispering "I love you" on Oprah, shamelessly plugging movies and embracing Scientology? This is an outrage. I'm outraged. This never would have happened if she had stayed with Dawson.

It is classic. Stupid Joey ending up with Pacey. :)

We're taking bets that they're bouncing here and there and everywhere...

Alright I know that this probably makes me a little childish, but when I heard this story I had to react and giggle uncontrollably. They have now developed a new material for breast implants. The material is almost like the same material that they use to make Gummie Bears. Now Gummie Bears are one of the greatest foods ever. Making breasts out of them only makes sense. I mean they are really a great material and are very pliable. They are supposed to be safer than all other types of implants. Now the theme song from their fantastic Cartoon has a whole lot of other meeting. I wonder if they would come in different flavors. Isn't this such a fantastic story? I probably could talk about this for hours, but I will spare you. If you are interested in more info click on the link below.

Gummie Bear Implants

We're taking bets that everything has gone to the dogs...

Murphy the dog is due in court. No he did not attack anyone. He was summoned to court by a Newton, MA animal control officer. He didn't have his leash on while taking a walk and was cited for it. You don't know how often I have almost been caught for the same thing. Instead of citing the dog's owner the animal control officer cited the dog. Now the city police are saying it is the owner's fault and not the officer's. What kind of an idiot looks at the dog tags and decides well he must have named him after himself. Yes dogs tend to look like their owners, but never before have I heard of one having the same name. I mean every time you call the dog you would be tempted to respond yourself. That's just too weird. I hope Murphy doesn't get sent to the pokey. I mean he likes to sniff butts so that can't be good in prison. :)

We're taking bets that ice cream is good...

I was forwarded this blog and I may have a new favorite blog. You need to read today's section.

We All Love Ice Cream

We're taking bets that you need a plan if it is rainy...

It is a slow day at WTBT Offices so we would like to mention a couple of fun items for people do do inside when it is raining during the summer.

1. It is the 25th Anniversary of Pac-Man. Go buy one of those joysticks that you can plug right into your TV and have hours of fun trying to eat ghosts. Remember Pac-Man was so popular it even had a cartoon?

2. The Super-Size Me guy Morgan Spurlock has a new TV show. This guy has done some eye-opening documentaries and this should make people think.

3. Read the following books.

- The Myron Bolitar Book Series by Harlan Coben
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
- 1776 by David McCullough

4. Rent a movie from GregFlicks. It is free just ask me for one and I will get it to you provide you promise to give it back. Check out my link on the sidebar.

We're taking bets that Americans are prudes...

Americans are a little on the safe side when it come sex and sexuality. Americans are up in arms over Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr. commercial and TBS's The Real Gilligan's Island Commercial, but the rest of the world laughs at us. Now I am not saying that the racecar driver is right in this article, but it wasn't a big deal in Europe. Read #1 in CNNSI's 10 Spot by Peter McEntegart and tell me your thoughts. Click on the article too if you would like.

The 10 SPOT

WTBT Volume Seventeen...

We're taking bets that...

* you cannot believe Phil Jackson is going to be back running the LA Lakers.
* Michael Jackson's song "Beat It" has a lot more meaning for him now.
* you enjoyed seeing the Red Sox playing in Wrigley Field, but you wished it was during a World Series instead.
* the only things shocking about Michael Jackson's acquittal is that it took the jurors so long to decide and no one has said the parents are really at fault for leaving their kid with a nut.
* the NHL may have a salary cap, but they still don't have a deal to play hockey and might not before July is over.
* you need to be careful when choosing flowers.
* Jessica Alba can wear see through clothing anytime she wants.
* Fisk's Pole is just another great landmark in Fenway Park.
* a little part of you is curious to see if the Backstreet Boys new album is any good.
* Lou Holtz is going to be a great addition to the ESPN College Football team.
* it is sad, but VHS tapes funeral has started now that Wal-mart has decided not to sell them anymore.
* the Red Sox are breaking out of their slump and are going to have an unbelievable July.
* it is about time for Blessid Union of Souls to release a song that everyone loves but no one will admit they like it.
* Robert Kraft is the best owner in the NFL and the Super Bowl rings are an incredible tribute to his team.
* Brad Pitt's bleached blond hair makes him look just like Angelina Jolie's brother who she creepily kissed during the Oscars a few years back.
* it is kind of unbelievable, but NFL training camps are only a few weeks away.
* Batman Begins will be the best movie of the summer not Star Wars related.
* you shouldn't honk for peace.

We're taking bets that this is why I love Boston sportswriters...

I know that being a New England fan of Boston teams can make some people sick. I know that we are too into our sports sometimes and don't give our teams the best support when they are down. We can be crazy, but it brings us together as a community. For many people when the Red Sox won last year we had a great weight lifted off of us. When we looked on the previous 86 years we had to take small victories instead of a big victory. That is why the '67 Impossible Dream Season is so special. Our most cherished victory during defeat is Carlton Fisk's Home Run in the '75 World Series. It was probably the greatest World Series ever and many people forget that the Cincinnati Reds won because all you ever see is Fisk's Home Run. Well now some Reds fans are pissed that the Red Sox are honoring Fisk and naming the left field foul pole after him. FUCK THEM!!! Just because they are in the cellar and still have Ken Griffey Jr. is no reason to be mad. You won the World Series that year and in '76 and in '90. Let us have our moments. I think Eric Wilbur of the Boston Globe puts it best. Read his article and tell me what you think.

Red is a color not a team name.

We're taking bets that the past weekend was hot...

Here a few of my observations over the weekend.

* Some people should not be allowed to pick out colors. Being somewhat color blind I know I am not a good judge of colors, but I know when you have picked awful colors. Pepto-Bismol pink is never a good color.

* Waterfire Providence is pretty cool. It is a little anti-climactic, but overall it is very cool.

* You should never shush someone. If you do you should be prepared to get hit with at very least a flick in the eye. I will expand on this in a later post.

* Although you remember where your car is parked it doesn't always help you find it. Especially if you remember the wrong place. In a big parking lot it would be to your advantage to write it down. Though driving around a parking lot can be fun while looking for your car.

* Finding a great place for breakfast is key to a great beach weekend. If you are ever in Southern Rhode Island I suggest The Breakfast Nook II. There is not a lot of seating, but it is well worth the wait.

* I know I have talked about bugs getting killed on my windshield before, but my car is currently a ridiculous bug graveyard. It looks like someone threw a bug grenade on the front of my car. Ick.

* It is great being part of a second family, who treats you like you belong. Thanks to the Martins for being that second family to me. :)

We're taking bets that you would love to be eight again...

This weekend I read Harlan Coben's Book Just One Look. It was an excellent book as Coben is a master of surprise endings. The character's are fantastic. He has a series of detective type books and stand alone novels, but the great things is that each book is living in the same world and they reference people from other books. What struck me as so great in this book was this passage between the main character and her eight year old daughter. It does not ruin anything in the book, but made me smile from ear to ear. I am pretty simple like that. I would probably give up a lot of things to be eight years old again. So people would probably say I act that way anyway. :) Well I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

They sat down to breakfast. "Mom?"
It was Emma. "Yep."
"When you and Dad got married..." She stopped.
"What about it?"
Emma started again. "When you and Dad got married--at the end, when the guy said no you may kiss the bride..." "Right"
"Well" --Emma cocked her head and closed one eye-- "did you have to?"
"Kiss him?" "Yeah."
"Have to? No, I guess not. I wanted to."
"But do you have to?" Emma insisted. "I mean, can't you just high-five instead?"
"High-five?" "Instead of kis. You know, turn to each other and high-five." She demonstrated.
"I guess. If that's what you want."
"That's what I want, " Emma said firmly.

Even now as I am typing it I am smiling. It is sad sometimes how the littlest things make me so freaking content. :)

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Eva Longoria has become the new number one fantasy girl of guys across the country. She has taken hottie to a new level. She has that great mischevious smile and incredible body. She would not be a Desperate Housewife with me. :)

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Another great picture of Eva.

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We're taking bets that this caption rocks...

I laughed out loud at my desk and had to share with my millions of readers. (Okay just 20 regulars, but they are like millions)

Uh-Oh