We're taking bets that I cannot make this stuff up...

Hi everyone!!! I have a little story to tell that happened to me today at 8:05 pm Monday January 17, 2010.

I was preparing some ground turkey so that Theresa and I could have turkey tacos. Theresa was at her Monday night Zumba class and was not going to be home until about 8:20 ish. Oddly Theresa forgot her cell phone and had a billion missed phone calls. (slight exaggeration) "How I Met Your Mother" was on TV and I was working away.

I heard the front door opening and my back was to the sink as I was draining the browned turkey meat. I went back to the stove and didn't look at the front door. The door closed and I thought it was weird that Theresa didn't say anything as she almost always says, "Hi Honey" when she comes in. I look up and there was a six foot Caucasian male standing in my living room. He was wearing a tan Carhartt jacket, a white snow hat, jeans and boots. I asked him what he was doing and he looked at me with a very confused look. I instantly could tell he was intoxicated and this could be an amazingly interesting encounter.

I immediately reverted to my Residence Life training and became the RHD of my own house. I extended my hand to him which he shook. He absolutely reeked of alcohol(no exaggeration) and was slightly unbalanced. I asked him where he lived and he said that all the houses on this street looked alike. That is kind of true in the dark. He asked me if his friend was here and I told him no. He then asked me about a Judy whom I do not know. As we were talking I slowly was walking him to the front door. I got him out the door as he reassured me that he was a nice guy. Once he was on the stoop I noticed that his scooter was running and parked in front of our steps. This amazed me that he had gotten it there without going over any snow in our yard. He must be a very functional drunk because we found out that he drove at least 3 miles before ending up in my house.

So, he was standing on our front stoop and I could not close the storm door. He asks me if I have any cigarettes and I told him I do not smoke. He smiles and tells me his name is Andy. He starts to tell me that he has four cigarettes in my house after he checked his body. We go back and forth for a little while before he stops me and says, "You are so thickheaded you keep focusing on the "Don't Have" before I can explain myself." I then ask him to tell me where the cigarettes are and I will get them for him. He says never mind and walks to the scooter. I tell him to be safe and not drive. I then shake his hand and tell him to have a good night.

I close the door and lock it. I immediately run to the phone and the computer. I find the number for the EHPD and call the main line. (I didn't think it warranted a 911 call) The officer on the line is very helpful and says he is sending someone right out. I then go to our middle bedroom and look out the window to see what he is doing. He is trying to move the bike, but keeps getting frustrated as he is moving towards the snow. He then turns off the bike and I see a car approaching our house. It is Theresa who is coming back from Zumba and does not have her cell phone. I run to the living room and open the shade for the window facing the driveway. I see her rolling down her car window to talk to the man. I wave frantically to her to leave the driveway and go somewhere else. (Oddly enough this is another time that someone with a cellphone would have been helpful, but they didn't have it. Strange and just shows that cellphones aren't as helpful as you think.) She notices me and closes the window and leaves.

Now I think Theresa was scared and didn't know what to do because she circled the block and 30 seconds later was coming back down the street. Thankfully East Haven's finest was behind her and pulled up to the house. A woman officer got out and talked to the guy who was still trying to figure out his scooter. A minute later a second cruiser pulled up and a male officer got out. I was standing in the doorway as the second officer came up and asked me what happened. I explained the story. Meanwhile Theresa is parked in front of the house not know what to do. She finally decides to come into the house and walks past them. A little while the later the female officer comes into the house to get an official statement and all of my info. She was excellent. She told us that he was drinking at a bar and that he thought Theresa was his girlfriend. They decided to get an ambulance to take him to detox and tow his scooter. They convinced him to wait in the cruiser, but the officer thought he was going to put up a fight if he saw the tow truck so they waited until the ambulance took him away.

Now many of you are going to ask why the door was not locked and if I live in a dangerous part of town. Well it is the first time in recent memory that Theresa did not lock the front door when she left. She sometimes even locks me out when I am putting out the garbage. She is really paranoid about it to the point that I sometimes make fun. Well let me tell you the teasing will now stop. We live in a great neighborhood with practically no crime and very nice neighbors. I think this was just a freak incident.

I am blessed that Theresa was not the only one home when this happened and it was me. I have realized that I am very good in crisis situations and know how to deal with all types of people. Sometimes situations happen that you cannot even believe. Working on a college campus it happens more than you think, but I never expected this to happen in my own house. My life is truly wacky wild Kool-Aid style sometimes and I truly hope that the excitement never ends. Of course I also hope that they all end like this with a Happy Ending.