Tuesday, May 31, 2005

We're taking bets that jokes are fun...

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day Weekend. I went on a couple day hiatus in honor of our veteran's lost in war. This morning I heard a very funny joke on 96.5 FM Craig & Company morning show.

A man and his wife wanted to be able to talk about having sex without their small children knowing. So they decided to come up with some code words so that their children are none the wiser. They decide that they will talk about typewriting.

So one day the man tells his 5 year old daughter to tell her mother he needs to type a letter. The girl runs to her mother and her mother says to tell him that he cannot type a letter because the typewriter is loaded with red ribbon.

A couple of days later the wife asks the daughter to tell her husband that the typewriter doesn't have any more red ribbon and he can type his letter. The girl runs and tells the father. The girl comes back to the wife and says "Daddy says it is okay because he handwrote the letter yesterday."

:)

Saturday, May 28, 2005

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Sofia Vergara is breaking onto the Hollywood seen in two movies this summer. This Colombian will be hotting up the movie screens in Lords of Dogtown and Four Brothers in the coming months. She is blessed with the alluring Latin sexiness. :)

Posted by Hello


Another great picture of Sofia.

Posted by Hello

Friday, May 27, 2005

We're taking bets that without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer...

Happy Friday Everyone!!! Question time has come once again at WTBT. Post your answers in the comments section. Have fun and have a wonderous Memorial Day Weekend.

A. Do you think the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes romance is as fake as Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's was? Why or why not?

B. If you could have had the starring role in one movie already made, which movie would you pick?

ANSWERS

A. Absolutely!!! Everything about their romance is about them trying way too hard. Going on Oprah to talk about it was creepy. Even when you see them kiss is looks slightly awkward. I know nothing will ever eclipse Jacko's bizarre and awkward kiss of Presley at the MTV Video Awards, but Cruise is trying real hard.

B. This may be the hardest question to answer for me. The debate I have is whether I would be Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything, Harry Burns from When Harry Met Sally or William Thacker in Notting Hill. Each of them were very funny and ended up with the hot girl in the end. I think I would probably choose Lloyd Dobler because he was respected by all of his peers and he wasn't afraid to be himself.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

We're taking bets that you have a little Arnzt on your shirt...

That was the best line in a fantastic season finale of LOST. It is excellent when in the first 1/2 hour a guy blows up waving an old stick of dynamite. That Hurley Guy is really a riot. I am going to be jonesing for more LOST all Summer. Damn Ian figured out that the rescuers were coming for Walt when everyone else thought they were actually being rescued. I hate when he does that. I can't tell him spoilers because he freaks out about it, but he can deduce stuff as we are watching it. Read his fun blog about going to the casino and our friend Dennis. I also could not believe that Carrie won American Idol. Now Oklahoma has something to be proud of other than football and cows.

By the way when you read Ian's blog about Dennis remember that he has set world records for shortest time working places. His Copy Cop record will never be broken in Springfield. :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

We're taking bets that I was excited about gas...

Now I am sure that the above headline makes people think that I was gassy and happy about it, but that is not what I am talking about. I went to pump gas and found that the price was only $2.05 per gallon. I was ecstatic and almost did an Irish Jig. (I am not Irish so I didn't do the jig.) In 1999 I paid $.99 and was fully content. That seems like eons ago now. I hope things change for the better or at least we get down to $1.50 a gallon. That seems reasonable. How sad is it that gas prices have changed so much that I am now excited by $2.05?

A couple of other quick thoughts.

* Did you know that unless you have aardvark farms in your area that the first listing in the business phone book is "Abortion"? I thought that was an interesting fact.
* What the hell was this lady thinking? It actually makes me miss my grandmother's crazy antics.
* Have you ever looked at the people around you on the highway early in the morning? Everyone seems too serious. The other thing I noticed is that most people are gripping the steering wheel like their lives depended on it. Maybe people who drive early in the morning just have really bad alignments and would crash if they didn't.
* I loved The Contender, but the Championship Fight was a little bit of a disappointment. Though my idol Bill Simmons disagrees with me. They fought great the first four rounds and then seem tired for the last three rounds. Congrats to Sergio "The Latin Snake" Mora for taking home the $1,000,000 prize. That Alfonso is one of my new heroes after beating Jesse. Remember little Mexicans always have spunk and heart.
* This may be the closest American Idol vote ever. Carrie performed a little better last night, but I think Bo was better throughout the show. Carrie is cuter than Bo so she has my vote.
* Shout out to Ian for his verbal recognition of "There are no Jedi's named Doug." I thought that was one of my funnier May comments. If I do say so myself.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

WTBT Volume Fifteen...

We're taking bets that...

* Revenge of the Sith will break $300 million in sales before June is over.
* the Miami Heat could be in a lot of trouble against the Pistons.
* it was a very good thing that the US Senate reached a compromise over the judges.
* the stupidly named LA Angels of Anaheim were devestated to lose Vlad Guerrero.
* the word "Great" will never be the same.
* you can't believe Ricky Williams is actually going to play football again for the Miami Dolphins.
* watching Jeopardy this week will be cool because Ken Jennings might lose.
* the 76ers should never have fired Head Coach Jim O'Brien.
* Lindsay Lohan looked awful on SNL this week. For the Love of God Eat Something Girl!!!
* tennis' Maria Sharapova looks unbelievably hot in her new camera commercial. Sorry Anna, but I think you are not the hottest Russian tennis player anymore.
* I have my money on Bo Bice to win American Idol, although Carrie Underwood is cuter.
* you have to give the Cincinnati Reds credit for releasing Danny Graves after he made an obscene gesture to a fan. (Granted he was pitching awful too, but it took guts to let him go.)
* smoking really does hurt you.
* although Red Sox fans love Kevin Millar he sucks right now and should be on the bench.
* the fun song of the summer will be Black Eyed Peas' "Don't Phunk with My Heart" and the most overplayed song will be Papa Roach's "Scars".
* most people don't really care that the French Open is currently being played.
* the girl buried alive story is both wonderful and depressing.
* I don't always enjoy when things are enigmatic.

Monday, May 23, 2005

We're taking bets that you should go all the way or don't go at all...

Here are a few random thoughts over the last few days.

* If you are going to go to a Star Wars movie in some sort of costume you should either go all the way or not go at all. At the 12:01 AM showing I saw many people in capes, but nothing else. A cape is not a costume, but rather a bad clothing accessory. Don't claim that you are a made-up Jedi either because that just makes you sad. There were no Jedi's named Doug.

* Some people just do not understand Star Wars. The problem is they complain about it when they probably never were going to like the movies anyway. These are not movies on the caliber of "The Godfather", but rather some of the best Science Fiction movies ever. Sorry there might be some bad dialogue, but never once did anyone say that line in any of the original movies was Oscar material.

* If you did not watch the Preakness this Saturday you missed perhaps one of the most amazing performances by a horse ever. Afleet Alex was almost on his way to the glue factory when he was tripped, but he recovered and then won the race. It was quite a feat.

* It quietly happened, but the best off-season move that the Patriots made was re-signing All-Everything Troy Brown. If you look up Team Leader in the Dictionary you should see his picture. I think he will be one of the big reasons that the Patriots win the Super Bowl yet again.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Danielle Fishel from Boy Meets World fame. She has not done much since it went off the air, but she is due for a huge comeback. Here is to all those wonderful Topanga years!!! :)


Posted by Hello

An even better picture of Danielle.

Posted by Hello

Friday, May 20, 2005

We're taking bets that the first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful...

It is question time again at the WTBT offices. Post your responses in the comment section. I would also like to thank John Cage for the above headline quote.

A. What are your Top 5 Star Wars Characters?

B. If, like milk or the newspaper, you could have anything of your choice delivered to your doorstep every morning, what particular item would you want it to be?

Answers:

A.
1. Han Solo - Maybe the coolest person in the galaxy.
2. Obi-Wan Kenobie - Alec Guiness was excellent, but Ewan McGregor made him even better.
3. Chewbacca - He didn't wear clothes and no one cared.
4. Darth Vader - The best villian ever.
5. Padme - Hottest Woman in Star Wars History(Even hotter than Leia in the gold bikini)

B. I would like $100 dropped off on my door every day. That way I would always have some cash in my pocket and wouldn't have to worry about using my ATM card to get cash. Plus it would be an extra $700 a week tax free. :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

We're taking bets that there will be no more riddles...

Sadly Frank Gorshin passed away today. He was the great Riddler in the original Batman. It is a sad day for cheesy, tight wearing villians everywhere.

We're taking bets that the force is with you...

12:01 AM the Revenge will begin. Geeks, Nerds, Dweebs, Losers, and Spazoids unite for the last Star Wars movie ever. I don't really have much to say other than... "It better be freaking worth it!!!" Sorry for the short blog, but I am just too excited to write more. I will probably have a fun and exciting after the movie blog for everyone. Have fun everyone!!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

WTBT Volume 14...

We're taking bets that...

* it is very easy to screw up metaphors.
* the Yankees are only in a hot streak and will cool off soon.
* war between Mexican's and black America is about to begin thanks to Mexican Presidente Fox.
* thanks to Dwayne Wade, Shaq may not need to play until the NBA Finals and the Miami Heat will still win the Championship.
* it was sad to see Everybody Loves Raymond end its run.
* it would be awesome to see "Oil Can" Boyd make a comeback in the major leagues even though he looks like he is 80.
* seeing Tom win Survivor was nice because the person who dominated finally won.
* China is really making Yao Ming's life miserable.
* it is nice to be a guru in something.
* until tennis gets some more colorful characters like John McEnroe even painting courts blue will not entice people to watch the sport.
* it is important to watch what beer you drink.
* you are not surprised that Kentucky basketball discouraged Rex Chapman (He is the creepy white guy with the goatee) from dating black women in the 80's. The South still has some issues with race.
* with Britney, Jennifer Garner, and now supposedly J.Lo and Demi pregnant there hasn't been this many pregnant celebrities since Charlie Sheen was single. Oops, he is single again. Coincidence?
* Dontrelle Willis is one of the most gangly people you will ever find, but he is a great pitcher.
* Star Wars opens up at 12:01 am Thursday and thousands of geeks will start talking like Yoda for the next two months.
* Brad Pitt says that he and Jennifer Aniston had a complex break-up. Duh!!! How many break-ups have really been that simple?
* it is about time that Run of Run DMC is getting his own reality show. I mean he is still popular.
* the best golfer ever, Jack Nicklaus, is finally retiring after the British Open and if you have never seen him play even one hole you should watch it to see him.

Monday, May 16, 2005

We're taking bets that you don't want to be a wingnut...

I thought this was a very good article. It really exposes the fact that all minority groups have hidden agendas. Although it is a funny article I think that it exposes the fact that many people are wingnuts.

We're taking bets that dogs are not toys...

Whomever named small dogs toys dogs was nuts. Dogs were never meant to travel around in women's purses. It just isn't right. Now people can take their dogs everywhere. I understand if you are blind and need to travel with a dog. Then it is a need not a want. I went to my brother's graduation from Springfield College on Sunday and I saw at least 4 people with these dogs in their purses. I have seen more attractive rats in the Boston T. Why have we become such an odd society that needs to carry our dogs? I blame that stupid Paris Hilton.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Sara Foster from the movie the Big Bounce. She was also in the clunker movie D.E.B.S. If you haven't heard of it, it is because it was in the theaters about 2 hours and everyone left. She is still a hottie though. :)

Posted by Hello

Friday, May 13, 2005

We're taking bets that charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question...

It is question time again at the WTBT offices. Post your responses in the comment section. The first question is a little risque and the second question should provoke good answers since many of my readers are graduating or looking for new places to live. I would also like to thank Albert Camus for the above headline quote.

A. If you could have a relationship with someone famous who was your opposite sexual preference who would your top 5 choices be? (Bi-sexuals do not have to answer these questions, but as always are more than welcome to.) Don't read into it... just answer the question.

B. You move to a new residence and have absolutely no household items or furniture. If you were on a tight budget, what would your first purchase be? If you had unlimited funds, what would your first purchase be?

WTBT Answers

A.
1. Ben Affleck - He was engaged to both J. Lo and Jennifer Garner. There has to be something special about that guy.
2. Orlando Bloom - Geez that guy is dreamy.
3. Tim McGraw - That guy is just cool. Old School Cool.
4. Tom Cruise - If he is good enough for Katie Holmes then he is good enough for me.
5. Robert Redford - Older guy who just has that something about him.

B. If I was strapped for cash a bed would be my first purchase because at least I would spend quality time there every day. If money was no object I would be buying the best entertainment system on the market. Loew's theater would have nothing on me. :)

Thursday, May 12, 2005

We're taking bets that she did not just do that...

It is not often that I am shocked by a news story, but it happened today. A lady in Myanmar was breast feeding tiger cubs to keep them alive. Unfortunately the tiger's livers could not handle the breast milk and they died of dehydration. Ummm excuse me WHAT?!? The tiger's mother didn't want them so human breast milk was tried. Now over my years I have heard women complain about human babies biting during breast feeding. That could definitely leave a mark. I wonder if my women readers would volunteer for this job if they could. I know tiger cubs are cute, but that might be a little much.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

We're taking bets that new technology is not for everyone...

Here are a couple random thoughts over the last few days.

* Many supermarkets across the country now have self-serve check-outs. Although this is supposed to be a quicker way to go through the check-out lines some people are not ready for this privilege. I observed a lady yesterday struggle with every item that she needed to scan. For the most part the barcodes are on the bottom of packages. This lady couldn't find many of the barcodes as she only looked on the front and the top. I almost took the items and scanned them myself. Technology is wonderful, but we still need people to help some of these idiots. I won't get on my soapbox about still needing people to provide service, but it really will be a shame if we lose cashiers at supermarkets.

* Although I do not have children, I think that it is a problem to yank a toddler by am arm in order to pick them up. Dislocation comes to mind as well as freak kids with one arm drastically longer than another.

* What is going on with the guy selling the Jesus Christ's Pants on E-Bay? This freak says that Jesus came to him naked and borrowed some clothes. After he wore them he gave them back. I actually think the guys name was Jesus pronounced Hay-Seuss and this fool let a homeless guy wear his clothes.

* I truly think we need a break from brutal killings of children in the United States. How about a nice story about a person who is killing crazy pedophiles? Or even a happy story about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston getting back together. It is depressing and although most news is depressing, children murders are the worst.

* Is anyone besides me tired of the saying, "______ is the new black." What the hell does that mean? When was black the "in" color that we need to say that? It seems like a ridiculous thing to say and I think we need to come up with something different. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

WTBT Volume Thirteen...

We're taking bets that...

* it is hilarious when ordering Turkey Tips from the 99's that you accidentally say Turkey Tits.
* Giacomo was more than a longshot at the Kentucky Derby; he saved himself from the glue factory with that race.
* Jack Bauer is going to die on the season finale of 24.
* Shaq was robbed in the NBA's MVP voting. Though it was nice to see a white guy win.
* there is something very weird about Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney getting married.
* let's hope this kid decides to go to school. It would be a refreshing change.
* Paula Abdul is a cold hearted snake. Just look into her eyes.
* gives congrats to the Sports Guy who is now the Sports Dad.
* it would of been funny to watch Tony Danza flip over in a go-cart.
* everything is turning up roses for New England sports. Even the Revolution are winning this year.
* I am so excited about the new Star Wars movie that I may need to take a week off to recover.
* you knew the Yankees were going to have some sort of winning streak before May was over.
* there is something very disturbing about the Pope John Paul II baseball card.
* Wade Miller could be the Red Sox early season pitching savior.
* this article might show proof that you don't choose to be gay, but rather are born that way.
* the Mavericks, Wizards and Pacers do not have a chance in their respective Playoff Series'.
* even if you hate musicals you should go and see Spamalot because Monty Python may be the funniest thing to ever hit Broadway.
* although Jeff Van Gundy retracted some of his statements about referees you know there had to be some truth in what he said.
* Britney Spears new TV show may make summer television worth watching.
* New England fans were psyched Tom Brady signed a contract extension and did it for reasonable money. That's why they win SUPER BOWLS!!!
* Dave Chappelle is being haunted by Rick James... BITCH!!!

Monday, May 09, 2005

We're taking bets that sharks just decided to start attacking people...

Straight out of the jokes from Dane Cook is this shark story. I think that I may be able to fend off a shark attack, but I don't think I would want to go right back into the ocean. Then further down in the article is the people that have been cut in half by sharks. HOLY CRAP!!! Losing an arm is one thing, but being bitten in half. That is just crazy.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

We're taking bets that it is time to honor Mom...

So I have searched the universe for Mother's Wisdom and Funny Sayings on this day we honor our Mother's. Here are my favorite 25. You may of heard these. You may even use them today. Tell me your Mother's favorite words of wisdom or sayings.

Don't use that tone with me!
Were you born in a barn? Close that door!
If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?
Shut the door - I can't pay to heat the whole neighborhood.
I'm not everyone else's mother - I'm your mother.
What do I look like, your maid?!
Close your mouth when you're eating - you look like a cow
Turn off the light!Do you think we own the electric company?
Do you think money grows on trees ?
A little soap never hurt anyone.
I'm not talking just hear hear my own voice!
How can you sleep in an unmade bed ?
"I don't know" is NOT an answer.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
Rob, Ron, Julianne, Greg... Whatever your name is.
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes.
There's someone either dying or being created under your bed - look at all this dust.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
What do you mean CARRY ME - I carried you for nine months.
What do you mean you aren't going to eat everything on your plate - think of those poor starving children in India.
You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it.
I'm going to give you until the count of three.
You made your bed - now lie in it.
Why ? Because I SAID so, that's why !!!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

We're taking bets that Hottie of the Week...

Hottie Evangeline Lilly from ABC's Lost. She is fantastic on one of the greatest shows on TV currently. She has a wonderful smile and some spectacular hair. It is amazing too because her character doesn't get to use conditioner to help it have that healthy look. :)

Posted by Hello

Friday, May 06, 2005

We're taking bets that we need condoms for seagulls...

I have found the most wonderful story of the week, but please read this first. Those damn seagulls have infected our penguins with chlamydia. Now everyone knows that seagulls are the gigglos of the sky. It is basically like they are in the Navy and have someone at every port. Penguins aren't too smart so they fall prey to the seagulls pick-up lines. (Ex. Is that a minnow in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? & Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place. ) Plus penguins are always dressed for a party so the seagulls bring the fish and the night of fun is on. Damn those seagulls. It's like... Wham, Bam, Waddle Maam. It just sickens me. :)

Chlamydia outbreak kills a dozen penguins


Does anyone like my new blog colors. It is just a test so tell me what you think.

We're taking bets that the question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.

It is question time again at the WTBT offices. These two questions are pretty simple and hopefully will generate some good answers. I would also like to thank Joan Borysenko for the above headline quote.

A. What are your five favorite foods/drinks that you only eat during the summer months?

B. What's your favorite kitchen utensil/appliance? Why?

ANSWERS

A.

1. Linguisa - Costa got me hooked on this stuff.
2. My famous BBQ Chicken Salad - I stole the recipe from GW.
3. Starbucks Passion Tea Lemonade - This is heaven in a cup.
4. My Mom's Macaroni Salad - It is most excellent and she only makes it in the summer.
5. Fresh Lobster from the Naragansett Pier in Rhode Island - The best dinner down at the house on stilts.

B.

This is actually a tough questions. I mean there are so many to choose from. I first thought that the electric hand mixer because you can lick off the beaters after you are done. This is great with things like frosting. But I decided that the metal spork is the greatest invention ever for the kitchen. You can cut things with the side. You can stab stuff to eat. You can also eat soup. What a wonderful invention. Mind you it is tough to find a metal spork, but if you can find one you will keep it with you at all times because you never know when you might have a food emergency.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

We're taking bets that I will not be reading this book...

So the oldest living Munchkin has written a book about his experiences in the movie The Wizard of Oz. Now many of you have heard about my disdain for the good old Wizard. Do we need a book about a freaky movie. I mean the munchkins in general were a little weird with their odd speech patterns and songs about the Lollypop Guild. Now the old coroner is going to tell us all about his adventures.

The weirdest thing about the article is the fact that he prefers the term "Munchkins" over "Little People." If you call someone a Munchkin today you would get punched in the kneecap or kicked in the shin. Though maybe it helped to destroy the evil organization HELP (Hate Everything about Little People). I guess everyone has something they would like to be called. I mean I think that many boys would have rathered the size "Big Kid" over the awful term "Husky". Husky is a dog not a size for boys. Anyway, I guess it is now PC to use the term Munchkin and I am going to try it. I just have to get my shin guards and cup on first. :)

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

We're taking bets that it is time for a celebration...

So tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo!!! As someone with some Mexican descent in him through Spain I will be having the obligatory Tequiza and Corona with Lime. I was thinking about all the great things that Mexico has contributed to the world. Here is my list:

1. Mexican Food - When my mouth is on fire I am very happy. Of course there is a good chance that I will be unhappy later and so will the toilet.
2. Salsa - it is not only a great condiment, but a fun word to say. Seinfeld hit is right on the head with that joke. Everyone say it with me, "SALSA SALSA SALSA!!!"
3. Salma Hayek - She has one of the best accents in the world and the beautiful body to back it up. My favorite scene of hers is when she is dancing in the kitchen making dinner during the movie "Fools Rush In" with Matthew Perry.
4. Montezuma's Revenge - You cannot not find a better name for awful diaherra than that. You could try, but you would fail.
5. Tequila - This is practically a no brainer. What alcohol has lead to more ONS (One Night Stands) than tequila. I would venture to say that most of the Mexican population was conceived due to tequila. :)

What things do you love about Mexico? Drop me a note. Enjoy Cinco de Mayo!!!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

WTBT Volume 12...

We're taking bets that...

* if you are an animal you do not migrate to Sweden.
* the Baltimore Orioles will win the American League wild card.
* The Contender is the best reality show on TV that no one is watching.
* Jeff Van Gundy got the $100,000 question wrong when he critized NBA officials.
* you can't get a much better nickname for the Runaway Bride than Flee-ance.
* there are not too many better websites to check daily than ESPN's Page 2 Daily Quickie.
* it is good to change the sheets when you sleep in someone else's bed for a few days.
* the Cleveland Cavaliers are making a big mistake not offering Phil Jackson a job.
* you are a little sad that Everybody Loves Raymond is over but Will & Grace is still on. It was once groundbreaking and funny; not anymore.
* Ray Allen is the best player in the NBA not named Shaq.
* Will Farrell's Kicking & Screaming is going to be one of the funniest movies of the summer.
* the new look Yankees are going to be as bad as the old Yankees.
* Macauley Culkin testifying in Michael Jackson's trial defense is going to be his best acting performance since Home Alone 2.
* Terrell Owens should stop bitching about his contract that he signed last year and play two more season before asking for more money.
* if you are ugly this story should bother you. :)
* Keith Foulke will get out of his Spring funk to become the best closer in the American League.
* Pfc. England deserves any punishment she gets and probably will deserve worse.
* even if you love Curt Schilling you have to admit he talks way too much.
* this is the feel good story of the month.
* sports t-shirts are fun, but #13 is my favorite.

Monday, May 02, 2005

We're taking bets that kids are precocious...

First, I bet you don't believe that I spelled "precocious" right on my first try, but I did. Can you believe the 3 year old that hopped on a bus and then snuck into a movie theater.? All because he wanted to see the movie Robots. I couldn't even tie my shoes at 3 years old. That is determination. I understand that the father needs to be punished, but if your kid is that determined nothing short of tying him down with rope will stop him. I mean just try picking up a kid that is not getting their way and they go all jelly body on you. It scares me to have children because I realize that they will probably be smarter than me by the time they are 5 years old. Okay maybe 3 years old but smarter than me nonetheless.

Second bet of the day is that you do not know what the word "precocious" means. I have included the definition for everyone. If you get the definition wrong you owe me a penny next time you see me.

Lastly, were you shocked that Katie Holmes is a virgin or did you expect that from the All-American girl. It makes me have a hell of lot more respect for her and her ex-Chris Klein (even though he was just found guilty of drunk driving). Though I still think she lost my number; we would have been married years ago and this wouldn't even be news. :)

Sunday, May 01, 2005

We're taking bets that fog is nothing to laugh at...

Last night I drove home from seeing Dane Cook at BU. (Thank you Pascha for thinking of me.) It was a wet night but the rain had stopped. Little did I know it was going to be the scariest ride of my life.

Fog is kind of like the guy from Seinfeld who was a sidler. It just creeps up on you and you look away for a second it is right in front of you. The problem with fog is that it makes seeing very difficult. I know that a lot of people have stated that the fog was as thick as pea soup, but that is just ridiculous. The fog last night wasn't like pea soup, but rather like the gel that forms on the top of soup. You can't see through it and it is kind of gross.

I was travelling along with my cruise control at 74 MPH when I encountered fog that would only allow me to see 2 feet in front of me. I had to slow down to 50 MPH while being petrified that someone was going to ram into me from behind. It was very scary. You can't even see the lines on the road.

Then the fog suddenly lifted and I couldn't believe I had traveled as far as I did. It was like I just entered Earth's atmosphere from space. It was quite an experience.