Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Music Winners

Well the two winners of the Music Contest are Ian Martin and Adam Abruzzi. Congratulations on your achievement!!! Here are the answers:

1. U2 - With or Without You
2. Bryan Adams - Summer of '69
3. Bobby Brown - Don't Be Cruel
4. Duran Duran - Hungry Like a Wolf
5. Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane
6. Weird Al Yankovic - Amish Paradise
7. Sarah McLachlan - Ice Cream
8. Sugar Ray - Every Morning
9. Madonna - Express Yourself
10. Michael Jackson - She's Outta My Life
11. Salt-N-Pepa - Shooop
12. Kylie Minogue - Locomotion
13. Elvis Presley - Viva Las Vegas
14. Motley Crue - Smoking in the Boys Room
15. Billy Idol - White Wedding

They both have won a special Dinosaur Ruler!!! Watch for my movie contest this weekend. :)

Monday, August 30, 2004

We're taking bets that being true to yourself matters most...

The Olympics are over and too many of us didn't watch. It was compelling and dramatic. Most of all it was fun and about the athletes and teams. A number of people in the last few weeks proved that being true to yourself mattered most. I am going to list 5 people who truly emboy this and why I believe this. I am also going to list the people who embody the anti-truth and give a little commentary about them too.

- Allen Iverson: Say what you want about Allen, but he went down with the ship and didn't complain one bit. AI was one of the most consistent players on the court and was not afraid to be the public face of a team that underachievers. If everyone of the US Mens Basketball team took it as seriously as AI did there would have been no doubt we would have won a gold medal. AI loves to play basketball and he loves his country. Almost brings a tear to my eye.

- Paul Hamm: Paul may look a little creepy but that doesn't matter one bit. Paul won the gold and although there was mistakes he preservered. The judges screwed up and he was willing to share his gold although it was his right not to. Then the FIG had the audacity to ask for it back and Paul said no. No one could take his accomplishment away. I say good for him. I am sorry a mistake was made, but life goes on and Paul deserved better than bad treatment by the FIG.

- Vanderlei de Lima: Holy Crap!! This guy was attacked while running the marathon and still won the bronze medal. On top of that he didn't bitch or complain, but rather he ran around the Olympic Field with a smile on his face and the Brazilian flag in his hand. Screw what happened to him he still was going to be happy. You almost cannot beat that as the performance of the Olympics.

- Svetlana Khorkina: This Russian Gymnast lost again and despite being happy she got a bronze she looked pissed. Now that takes guts! I applaud her from not keeping her emotion in check. I think she was more upset at herself than anything. You go girl. We need more people like you in a sport with way too many happy people.

- Ala'a Jassim: Leave it to George W. Bush to piss me off with this girl. Iraqi sprinter who finished 52 out of 63 runners, was being championed by GWB as a symbol of democracy. Did he ask her if that was okay. No. She just wanted to run. She wanted to represent her country that almost never allows women to compete. YOU GO GIRL AND F#$& GWB for trying to use you. You said it best. "I represent not only all Iraqi women, but all Iraqi people."

- Marion Jones: Karma kind of killed you here. Pressure of taking drugs got to you. You might be upset, but Cheaters will always get theirs in the end and you got yours a little early.

- Cornelius Horan: Now I don't even want to give his name because that means he counts as a person. Don't interrupt the Olympics. Taking down a marathoner. Come on!!! Why didn't you jump into the Boxing Ring. Now that would have been interesting. You can protest sports and even interrupt games, but not the Olympics. Once every four years not like anything else in the world. Freaking idiot. (though he was true to himself, but still)

- The Balco Guys: These might be the two most evil people in sports taking over for George Steinbrenner. They have ruined more peoples dreams and lives than I can count. They made doping a new art form and when they got caught they sold everyone down the river. Nice guys. You will get yours.

- Most of the US Mens Basketball Team: Enough has been said, but they need to be on this list.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

WTBT Volume 4

We're taking best that...

* you should enter my contest two columns below.
* the real US Dream Teams were any team of US women who kicked ass all over the place.
* "Gloria" by Laura Branigan may have been one of the dumbest songs, but you love it everytime you hear it. Listen to it once today as Laura passed away at the young age of 47 yesterday.
* if Gary Sheffield is really hurt badly the Yankees may have more to worry about than their starting pitching.
* stupid Deion Sanders is going to look like a fool by wide receivers this fall.
* it's funny no sportswriters or fans are taking any potshots at Terry Francona now that they Sox have won 16 of 20.
* South Carolina better be careful with Gaston coming; he really messed with Belle and the Beast. Make sure you have a clock and a candlestick handy.
* it is amazing how fast the mighty can fall. Just check out Marion Jones and the US Mens Basketball team.
* MTV is making a big mistake putting the MTV Video Awards on a Sunday Night. Sometimes change isn't good.
* Brazilian Beach Volleyball fans are pretty scary. Overweight and Speedo are two words that should never go together.
* you are not shocked one bit that there is a Huge Anti-GOP rally and march planned for the RNC this week.
* it is a shame that the hot Hilton sister(Nikki) got married last week.
* USC may not be all that dominate this year after having a tough time with Virginia Tech last night.
* you don't know what movie this line is from... "Teriffic. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax. " (This one is actually very easy)
* it was pretty classless for the FIG to ask Paul Hamm to give his medal back.
* FIG is a really dumb acronym for a Gymnastics organization.
* Lowell, MA got a little scarier with the drive-by shooting last week.
* this West Coast trip for the Red Sox might be the most important games of the season.
* I can't find one person who does not think that Jennie Finch is hot. (Yes I may have an obsession.)
* Tom Welling should be Superman in the new movies. Smallville is one of the most underrated shows on television and he is the reason why.
* you cannot wait for the new fall TV season to start.
* Mia Hamm was the perfect candidate to carry the US flag at the Olympic closing ceremonies.
* people in other parts of the world blow themselves up over elections (Chechnya) and we can't even get 50% of our people to vote.
* Ricky Williams is showing exactly why pot is illegal. He retired and now he is talking about coming back. It has been less than a month. At least MJ went to play baseball.
* it is about time MIT named a woman president.
* there are not too many things better than a beer and a NFL game.
* you can't wait for Dane Cook's new Comedy CD.
* the US Open is about to start and no one really cares. Tennis needs a John McEnroe type to make the sport more exciting.
* you need to read Bill Simmons comments about Elaine from Seinfeld. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/040827
* the GHO has given way to the Buick Championship and you didn't even blink twice about it.
* WTBT Classic - being in the right place at the right time is the key to getting a good backrub.
* the Atlanta Falcons are so scared about Michael Vick's hamstring that even the movie The Exorcist wouldn't phase them.
* NYC will do a great job with the RNC, but not as good as Boston did. YANKEES SUCK!!!! (sorry got caught up)

We're taking bets that ick is a great name for a fish disease

My fish have ick. Now I know that you are supposed to spell it ich, but I think ick fits much better. Why don't we have human disease named like that. It would make for much more interesting conversations.

"Erin I cannot come to work today my Eew is acting up."
"Annie did you get over that case of the ughs?"
"Sara you look like you are coming down with the yucks."

It doesn't get much better than that. Unfortunately ick is a horrible fish parasite that has killed many of my fish. I am not sure if it is Fox Hall water or the Lowell, MA water problem. Either way I have to completely clean my tank of ick. Any way I am tired and my throat is a little sore maybe I have Bleck! :)

Saturday, August 28, 2004

WTBT Monthly Music Contest #1

There are a lot of lines in music that go along with "We're taking bets that". The best example that I can think of is "We're taking bets that... she only comes when she's on top." The answer would be James - Laid. This monthly column will test how well you know your music. I will include 15 music lines below. You need to name the title of the song and artist who sang it. Some of them will be easy and some will be difficult. They will rang from the 50's to today and from any type of music. E-mail me your answers to Gregory_Madrid@uml.edu. I will declare a winner on Tuesday morning. The top 3 people will win a special prize that I will mail to you. I will also post all of the answers in the comments section on Tuesday evening. Have fun.

We're taking bets that...

* you give it all but I want more.
* I shoulda known we'd never get far.
* with a bad attitude I can't compete.
* I'm on the hunt I'm after you.
* I've churned butter once or twice.
* it's a long way down to the placewhere we started from.
* He's licking his lips He's ready to win On the hunt tonight.
* She always rights the wrong for me.
* You don't need diamond rings or eighteen karat gold.
* And I've Learned That Love Won't Wait. (Original Singer)
* You're a shotgun - bang! What's up with that thang?
* Everybody’s doin’ a brand new dance now. (80's song)
* I'm just the devil with love to spare.
* Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school.
* It's a nice day to start again.

Good luck to everyone. Please comment if you like this column.

PS - You should try to not use GOOGLE or another search engine. I won't know the truth, but the guilt should get to you. :)

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

We're taking bets that everyone can be freaking weird at anytime...

People are weird. Not much else to say end of story. I will put some bullets of weird stuff that I have seen lately.

- Men standing in groups outside with their hands in their shorts. When did this become acceptable? Are you trying to air things out? Do women do this? If they do I am going to be weirded out even more
- People who stare at others like it is their job. Hello give me a sec to not feel violated. If you are going to stare could you please not have a creepy look on your face. I need to take a shower with paint thinner just to get off the funk you are passing on.
- Women who dress like it is a NYC club but it is actually Lowell, MA on a Wednesday or Thursday night. Ladies there is only 20 guys and girls at the bar anyway and most of them don't have all their teeth. J. Lo would be proud but come on.
- Parents yelling at their kid in Wal-mart like they are yelling at another adult who cut them off in traffic. Do you think your two year old understands all the profanity? They do now because you are teaching them. There is nothing cuter than the vulgar toddler. Goodness.
- People who pick their nose... eat it... then look around to see if they got caught. HELLO!!! Wouldn't it make more sense to look around in the beginning? I mean everyone picks. EVERYONE!!! Don't argue or you will get a booger flicked on you. If you are going to do all that then I say PICK MAN PICK!!! Like Lou said in Caddyshack I've bet $20 the kid eats it. :)

I think this is going to be a regular column. There is a lot of funny weird people out there. Hell I haven't even started on the people I work with. :)


















Just kidding they are reading this. Hee Hee, but I gotta make them wonder.

Monday, August 23, 2004

WTBT Volume Three

We're taking bets that...

* I am having more fun doing this column than I ever thought I would.
* the Red Sox are really going to make it interesting. Insert your own "Yankees Suck" Chant here.
* if you leave candy around it is going to get eaten.
* no one has eyes as blue as US Gold Medal swimmer Natalie Coughlin.
* we do not need mice that run farther and longer, but researchers have done it. Here comes the $6 million mice.
* Bob Costas may speak like the most uppity person you have ever listened to, but you still like him during the Olympics.
* this link should explain everything you need to know about the new hottest person alive. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5797495/
* San Diego's Philip Rivers is going to find out the hard way that missing training camp can kill your career.
* it is creepy that an Idaho couple got married in a Wal-mart. They weren't even employees.
* the real 2004 Dream Team was the US Women's Softball Team.
* Joe Piscopo may be running for governor of New Jersey and it will actually be the funniest he has been since Johnny Dangerously.
* US women's wrestler Sara McMann's mom is the coolest. Just read this article - http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summer04/wrestling/columns/story?id=1866036
* it is amazing that the US was able to win all 3 men's 400M medals.
* Russell Crowe is getting crazier and crazier after biting the ear of his bodyguard in a bar fight.
* even though Tiger Woods is hitting a driver almost as bad as I do he still is talented enough to win a golf tournament
* WTBT Classic - it's sometimes funnier not to be funny.
* it is sad that the guy who said "Elvis has left the building" passed away this week.
* you can't help but watch at least a little of the Little League World Series. These guys are so cute and they are always playing baseball the old fashioned way.
* all of these anti-Kerry ads are actually going to hurt GW Bush and not help him.
* it will make you very happy is Cal can beat USC in college football again this season.
* you better be careful with your webcam because a new virus allows people to watch you all the time. Creepy!!!
* the Devil Rays Scott Kazmir may be the beginning of winning seasons in Tampa Bay
* no one should take over the role of God in a remake of George Burns "Oh God!". Not even the hilarious Ellen Degeneres.
* the Lowell Spinners have given out the best bobblehead dolls over the last two years.
* you don't know what movie this line is from... "Gee, Kent, and we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival!"
* it is weird that no one has asked me about my what movie this line is from.
* the paperboy scene from While You Were Sleeping was an absolute riot.
* the UMass Lowell field hockey team has a great shot at making the National Championship game again this year.
* Craig Kilborn is an idiot for leaving his TV show to work more on his Blog.
* the Miami Dolphins did not get better in trading one of their best defensive players.
* you better enjoy your last few days of the Olympics because you will miss them when they are gone.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

We're taking bets that you can't beat a live music performance

What a great freaking way to spend an evening. Live music courtesy of Maroon 5 and John Mayer was unbelievable. Spending time with new friends and bonding with an old friend made the night even better. The music was absolutely fantastic. Maroon 5 really has a great sound. I believe that they will be around for a long long time. John Mayer was excellent as well although he disappointed me by not singing my favorite song "My Stupid Mouth". Damn him for not know exactly what I wanted. He did sing a new song which was great. So go hang with friends at a concert it is fun. Better yet... invite me to come along. :)

Friday, August 20, 2004

We're taking bets that Maury Povich cares...

Today someone said that they like Maury Povich because he really cares. Now part of me thinks that is one of the funniest statements I have ever heard. I mean talk show hosts actually caring about their guests. It seems like a concept that went out with Phil Donahue in the early nineties.

I believe that just about everyone would say that Oprah cares about her guests. Which is the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard. She cares more about her bottom line than her guests. HARPO Productions and O magazine are really what she cares about. A friend stated to me that, "she seems false now; not the hug the audience members and cry with them oprah I KNEW IN THE 80'S!" I completely agree. Oprah was much more compassionate when she was fatter. Oprah being skinny is disturbing and probably makes her much more cranky. BRING BACK FAT OPRAH!!!

We all know that Jerry, Ricki and Dr. Phil don't care. Don't even get me started on any of them. The great debate should now be do Maury and Montel care? They actually have some shows of substance. They have relatively normal studio audiences and they are more convincing than anyone else out there. Tell me what you think...

Thursday, August 19, 2004

We're taking bets that the US Mens Basketball Team sucks

Well the US Mens Basketball Team(USMBT) almost lost again tonight. Until the next big thing Lebron James turned it on in the fourth quarter and they beat Australia by 10. Maybe it was because Gatorade made a new flavor for him (Flava23, no I am not making this up) and his contract said he had to at least beat the Aussies. Yes, that Australia. The country made up of ex-criminals. (Well not anymore, but they are spawns of criminals.) I will give anyone a shiny quarter if they can tell me the last Australian Basketball Star. I think he played for Seton Hall.

I think that Larry Brown should force the entire team into the theater on the QE2 and make them watch the movie Miracle, then The Rookie, then Hoosiers. After that he should make them watch Gigli and tell them that is what their career is going to be like if they don't shape up. Poor Ben Affleck, that dude can never catch a break. Then the USMBT might be able to understand how awful it will be if they don't win the gold medal.

I think the really sad thing is no one in the United States really cares about these players. I mean Tim Duncan is a God, but so is Carlos Arroyo and Puerto Rico is not going to win the gold with just him. We needed a Magic or Larry to come out of retirement and pump up this team. Even crusty old Kareen Abdul-Jabbar would make the US people care more about this team. It still seems like they are a whiny bunch. I bet you could get a team of guys from ESPN's Streetball and they probably could do better than our guys have.

It is all about pride and determination. I mean if that midget Charla on CBS's Amazing Race can carry a 100 lbs. slab of meat on her back through the streets of Maldonado, Uruguay then the USMBT can play a little defense. Hearing the National Anthem played for you and you alone while you stand on the podium with a gold medal may be the single most patriotic thing that can happen. USMBT please take after Carly Patterson, Paul Hamm and Tyler Hamilton... WIN THE GOLD MEDAL BECAUSE NO ONE THINKS YOU CAN!!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

WTBT Volume 2

We're taking bets that...

* I have no idea how to put anything on a wall and make sure that it is straight.
* Gold Medal gymnast Paul Hamm is very creepy looking. Damn good gymnast, but damn creepy.
* Google is just a search engine, but at $85 a share it is a really rich search engine.
* Nick Piscitello is one of the most unique individuals you will ever meet. If you ever get the privilege to meet him ask, beg and plead him to dance for you.
* George Steinbrenner sold his soul to the devil for the Yankees success and to curse anyone who crosses him like Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens who left for Houston and are both hurt.
* people who hold you to every word in your AIM profile can be annoying. :)
* WTBT Classic - you might wake up with sand up your ass if you have a Sex on the Beach.
* the funniest story of the week is about the bear(From Seattle, Washington area) that drank 36 beers left at a campsite and passed out on the lawn. The big problem was he was only 2 years old and the police arrested him for underage drinking.
* you could care less where the heck the Montreal Expos end up.
* it's fun to tell people "See you next Tuesday".
* we need more fun commercial characters like Mikey and the "Where's the Beef" lady.
* the UCONN Husky basketball coach was an idiot for getting arrested for soliciting prostitution but also because he only offered the cop $10 for oral sex. Cheap Bastard.
* "Who would you DO?" is a really fun game in the right company and sexual harassment in the wrong company.
* you might hate football, but you enjoy tackling people.
* BYU is the most boring school in the world. Okay that's not what Princeton review rated them, but it is what it amounted to.
* Madden 2005 is awesome. End of Story.
* no one cares that Paris Hilton found her missing dog.
* Kellen Winslow Jr. is going to be a fun edition to the NFL and the Cleveland Browns.
* you love VH1's "Best Week Ever".
* Tim Wakefield should be granted permanent status on the Boston Red Sox and pitch well into his seventies.
* the person who updates www.boston.com is the coolest guy. Yesterday he changed the color of the website to purple in honor of Prince playing the Fleet Center and put the weather forecast as Cloudy with a chance of Purple Rain.
* Deion Sanders needs to stay retired. If he doesn't I think his new nickname should be "Bed Time".
* August is the worst month because even the Commonwealth of Massachusetts can't find a reason for a holiday.
* the WNBA is on hold for the Olympics and no one has noticed.
* you are really going to miss the FAO Schwartz bear on Boylston.
* you don't know what movie this line is from... "How do you do it, man? How do you come up with new and amazing ways to fuck up?"
* someone needs to bring back the Hartford Whalers. PLEASE!!!
* US Magazine has some of the stupidest people on their covers, but you still want to read what is inside.
* College Football starts next weekend and you are having a hard time getting excited because of the stupid Olympics.
* now that Gwenyth Paltrow has named her baby Apple I think that other fruits should be kids name. I mean how cute are Strawberry Strauhal, Canteloupe Crouse and Raspberry Ruvolo. Though Pineapple Piscitello might be too much.
* Larry Bowa should say screw the Phillies and beat up that stupid Phillie Phanatic.
* the only people reading this are my friends because I pay them. (Seriously if I don't know you and you like this column write me a comment and say hi.)
* US Softball's Jennie Finch may not be able to get any hotter.
* you miss the Muppets weekly TV show.
* Joe Thorton deserves every dime that he got in arbitration. Too bad he probably won't get to play hockey this season.
* you need to see the movie "Garden State".
* the Red Sox are only 8 games out and making a run.
* I just jinxed the Red Sox by even mentioning it.

Monday, August 16, 2004

We're taking bets that Charley was a bad bad man...

Well the damage has been assessed and Charley is going to cost upwards of $14 Billion. First off I would like for someone to explain to me how insurance adjusters were able to assess it that quickly since getting someone to check out the dent in your fender can take weeks. Do you think that Snoopy has really been working overtime for Metlife? I guess they do mean it when they say StateFarm is there. $14 Billion seems like a crazy amount of money. Though I guess if we compare it to the national debt it probably is like having to fill up a SUV instead of your red Honda Civic. Well at least I now know that Florida will always be a great place to visit, but never a great place to live. Nice weather, no taxes and major natural disaster just about every year depending on which way wind feels like going.

Secondly, I never realized until today that the two top insurance companies (StateFarm and Allstate) are based in Illinois. Illinois just doesn't scream insurance capital of the United States, but I guess neither did Hartford, CT when it was. Though Hartford did seem a little uptight at the time. Can a state be uptight? Actually I think Delaware is, but that is more of a state having a Napolean complex. Although I think it would be fun to watch a "Celebrity Deathmatch" with Rhode Island and Delaware fighting it out. Anyhoo.

Hurricanes absolutely are fascinating. Basically just raining and swirling wind getting together to make human's lives miserable. You know that Mother Nature is sitting in her Oak Tree in the sky laughing at all us puny humans. It may sound corny, but I think those movies where the evil genius is developing a machine to control the weather may have it right. (Although The Avengers was an awful movie Sean Connery was trying to take over the world with a weather machine Ms. Moneypenny.) I mean we have shown time and time again that we cannot beat the weather no matter how prepared we are. Do you remember the 1989 Earthquake in California or Hurricane Gloria - Andrew - Floyd or the Blizzard of '78? We have even researched how to stop hurricanes and we have failed. http://www.fema.gov/kids/hurr_stop.htm

So this leads me to the thought of who would win in a fight? A blizzard or a Hurricane? If I harken back to the old days of SNL I think that Ditka would kick both their asses and have time for a sausage before bedtime. I will put my $20 on the blizzard. I heard the odds are like 7 Billion to one that they will win. Maybe they will pull of the upset and I could help out Florida with my $14 Billion. :)

For those of you who read yesterdays blog I have a car chase update. They ran out of gas. I will print the link, but one guy had a warrant out because, get this, he was in another car chase. He's living the American dream. http://www.lowellsun.com/Stories/0,1413,105~4761~2338332,00.html

Have a great night.

We're taking bets that you love car chases.

Now I know that everyone gets excited about police car chases. EVERYONE!!! Do not think you are special and aren't intrigued by them. I even have evidence. People in California watch them on television live and the rest of the world watches "TV's Most Incredible Car Chases" on Fox or FX or another station with the letters "F" and "X" in it. Tonight I saw one in Lowell on the VFW Highway. Yes that is right Lowell, MA. There was 8 to 10 police cars chasing a a Red Honda Civic going about 80 mph. Now I had the same thought everyone has when they see a car chase... "Oooh that looks like fun." You may not want to be in the situation that the idiot driving has gotten themself in, but getting chased while driving like a maniac is a hidden dream for most.

There are a million and one reasons why it is dangerous, but a small part of us wants to be Jason Bourne in The Bourne Identity or The Bourne Supremacy. Why do you think that Thelma & Louise had such a great ending? Two women running from the Law in a convertible that will eventually go over a cliff. It doesn't get much more exciting than that. I think that is why most great action movies have car chases. We can dream that it is actually us involved. Not like Ahnuld hanging from a building or Bruce Willis getting shot 44 times and still living, but a honest to goodness everyday car chase.

I bet the cops here in Lowell were excited about that. I mean New England roads are not really made for car chases. Way too windy(no not windy, but windy) and small. Windy and small leads to destroyed and mangled. That is when you get a tire in the face or a flight through the windshield. The opposite applies here. You never want to be involved in a car crash, but you definitely want to see it after.

The funny thing is everyone that I was in the car with that witness the racing down the VFW wanted to get an update of what happened. Probably because I said I was going to listen to the UML Police band to find any info I could. Unfortunately, I did not get any good info. Hopefully the www.lowellsun.com will tomorrwow. So if my bet is right tomorrow people will be asking what happened in the crazy Lowell Car Chase of 2004. Night everyone.


Sunday, August 15, 2004

WTBT Volume One

We're taking bets that....

* the New England Patriots will definitely challenge for the Super Bowl this year.
* it is sad that Lindsay Lohan is dating Fez.
* UML Hockey may have its best chance at making the NCAA's since 1995.
* the only reason Charley kicked ass in Florida was because the weathermen gave it a stupid name.
* Jamie Foxx is going to be huge after his turn as Ray Charles.
* being indifferent isn't all it is cracked up to be.
* ESPN seems like it has been around a lot longer than 25 years.
* it gets harder and harder for nice guys to find women with all of the crazy guys killing their wives.
* you are disturbed by the The Anti-Drug Commercial "The Lake" but it makes you think about doing something the next time someone cries out for help.
* the Olympics don't really have that much excitement anymore.
* Jon Stewart is perhaps the funniest political satirist of our times.
* the Yankees still suck no matter how much they win.
* it will be a long time before Boston puts on anything like the DNC again.
* Tiger Woods just doesn't put fear into golfers anymore.
* although it is devastating what has happened in Florida the media will interview the most stupid redneck people they can find to describe what happened.
* until you saw the article in Entertainment Weekly you had no idea Chevy Chase was still alive.
* if you haven't heard him yet Dane Cook is the funniest fucking comedian working today. Check him out at www. danecook.com.
* Bill Simmons may be one of the funniest sportswriters on espn.com.
* it may be mean, but I think that the Pope is being held up by strings like a marianette.
* it may be Michigan's year in College Football.
* you don't remember where this line is from... "No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world. "
* even though he is the radio voice of the Yankees you still love Charlie Steiner.
* the best DVD purchase of August is Kill Bill Vol. 2.
* BC Football is going to suck once they go to the ACC.
* it is weird that Lisa Loeb, Edwin McCain and Bruce Hornsby are all making mini-comebacks at the same time.
* there is only five or six more weeks before Christmas stuff goes on sale.
* something is definitely disturbing when Smarty Jones(the horse) has 8,000 fans say "good-bye" and only family and friends welcome home our troops from overseas.
* it is nice that there will be golf at UML.
* George Bush will say something stupid at the Republican National Convention. (Although this is probably way too easy)
* you don't really understand why Kobe Bryant was trying to get his trial delayed; being in a trial is definitely going to be more fun that playing for the Lakers next year.
* Michael Phelps may become the next Mary Lou Retton and we will be sick of him by September.
* Doggie Diapers are the stupidest fad since parachute pants.
* the Red Sox will make at least a run at the playoffs to give New England hope for at least a week or two in September.
* WTBT CLASSIC - a male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic that doesn't own a car.
* you are just wondering if there will really be a hockey season this year.
* they say tragedy comes in threes; PBS has lost Julia Child and Alistair Cooke in the last year. I hope that Cookie Monster isn't next.
* there will be a great story of someone over coming almost impossible adversity at the Olympics. I have $50 that it will be an American.
* people have it all wrong when they say people are going to read Playboy because of the interview with they guys who invented Google. It is still about the boobies.
* Andy Roddick may be hot, but his hair is too freaking weird for me.
* Maroon 5 is not going to be just a single album success.
* it will not be good id the US Men's Basketball team comes back to the US without the gold.
* that Jennifer and Brad give you faith in the world that at least one celebrity couple will make it.
* UCONN will get pretty close to repeating its double national basketball championship.
* you are looking forward to Johnny Depp's take on J.M. Barrie in "Neverland" this fall.
* it does not surprise you that with the election 3 months away GW Bush is bringing 70,000 troops home, but none from Iraq.
* this is a great line... "I will show you how leadership works when taught by the best."
* it was so great to see Barry Sanders get inducted to the Hall of Fame. He may be the greatest athlete under 5'9".

The past is now the future.

Well it has finally happened. I have become a blogger. Thanks to my best friend Ian and his gentle push I am going to start a blog. Now this will be a little different from my ranting in Diaryland. It should be a lot funnier and I am bringing back a fan favorite. Those of you that remember my journalism days (dream of being a sportswriter) at Western New England College for the Westerner will know "We're Taking Bets That...". I am going to write my first installment tonight. Each time I will include a classic WTBT for my old time friends though it should make just as much sense to anyone who lived in the 90's. Anyway I hope you enjoy my blog.