WTBT Volume 2

We're taking bets that...

* I have no idea how to put anything on a wall and make sure that it is straight.
* Gold Medal gymnast Paul Hamm is very creepy looking. Damn good gymnast, but damn creepy.
* Google is just a search engine, but at $85 a share it is a really rich search engine.
* Nick Piscitello is one of the most unique individuals you will ever meet. If you ever get the privilege to meet him ask, beg and plead him to dance for you.
* George Steinbrenner sold his soul to the devil for the Yankees success and to curse anyone who crosses him like Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens who left for Houston and are both hurt.
* people who hold you to every word in your AIM profile can be annoying. :)
* WTBT Classic - you might wake up with sand up your ass if you have a Sex on the Beach.
* the funniest story of the week is about the bear(From Seattle, Washington area) that drank 36 beers left at a campsite and passed out on the lawn. The big problem was he was only 2 years old and the police arrested him for underage drinking.
* you could care less where the heck the Montreal Expos end up.
* it's fun to tell people "See you next Tuesday".
* we need more fun commercial characters like Mikey and the "Where's the Beef" lady.
* the UCONN Husky basketball coach was an idiot for getting arrested for soliciting prostitution but also because he only offered the cop $10 for oral sex. Cheap Bastard.
* "Who would you DO?" is a really fun game in the right company and sexual harassment in the wrong company.
* you might hate football, but you enjoy tackling people.
* BYU is the most boring school in the world. Okay that's not what Princeton review rated them, but it is what it amounted to.
* Madden 2005 is awesome. End of Story.
* no one cares that Paris Hilton found her missing dog.
* Kellen Winslow Jr. is going to be a fun edition to the NFL and the Cleveland Browns.
* you love VH1's "Best Week Ever".
* Tim Wakefield should be granted permanent status on the Boston Red Sox and pitch well into his seventies.
* the person who updates www.boston.com is the coolest guy. Yesterday he changed the color of the website to purple in honor of Prince playing the Fleet Center and put the weather forecast as Cloudy with a chance of Purple Rain.
* Deion Sanders needs to stay retired. If he doesn't I think his new nickname should be "Bed Time".
* August is the worst month because even the Commonwealth of Massachusetts can't find a reason for a holiday.
* the WNBA is on hold for the Olympics and no one has noticed.
* you are really going to miss the FAO Schwartz bear on Boylston.
* you don't know what movie this line is from... "How do you do it, man? How do you come up with new and amazing ways to fuck up?"
* someone needs to bring back the Hartford Whalers. PLEASE!!!
* US Magazine has some of the stupidest people on their covers, but you still want to read what is inside.
* College Football starts next weekend and you are having a hard time getting excited because of the stupid Olympics.
* now that Gwenyth Paltrow has named her baby Apple I think that other fruits should be kids name. I mean how cute are Strawberry Strauhal, Canteloupe Crouse and Raspberry Ruvolo. Though Pineapple Piscitello might be too much.
* Larry Bowa should say screw the Phillies and beat up that stupid Phillie Phanatic.
* the only people reading this are my friends because I pay them. (Seriously if I don't know you and you like this column write me a comment and say hi.)
* US Softball's Jennie Finch may not be able to get any hotter.
* you miss the Muppets weekly TV show.
* Joe Thorton deserves every dime that he got in arbitration. Too bad he probably won't get to play hockey this season.
* you need to see the movie "Garden State".
* the Red Sox are only 8 games out and making a run.
* I just jinxed the Red Sox by even mentioning it.