We're taking bets that I am a thief...

Here are a couple of random observations I have had over the last couple of days.

* Any kid under the age of 9 has difficulty walking in a straight line. I was grocery shopping today and I felt like one I was in Q-bert trying to avoiding Ugg, Wrong Way and Coily. I had to jump back and forth through the aisles to avoid colliding with little kids. Most of the times it was because they were studying the cereal boxes, types of fruit roll-ups or imagining what it would be like to eat all of the cookies in the package they were staring at. Then the parents would call them and they would jump out of their trance and into my path. It was amazing at their ability to react to their name and walk diagonally.

* Being involved in a scavenger hunt should be a good enough excuse to allow you to break any laws except murder and manslaughter. Stealing, speeding, trespassing and reckless parking are all apart of the game. Who the fuck cares if you are going to hold up traffic? You need a picture of that statue and some gum from under that bench. Having watched 13 teams of 4 steal lawn signs without a second thought just makes me laugh. "It's okay officer I am on a scavenger hunt." "Oh okay let me run the lights and you can follow me to the next place." :)

* I don't know why, but I was not the least bit shocked that Mr. Sulu is gay. I mean did you see him in any of the Star Trek movies. He never did anything that was ever considered manly. Good for him, but really does anyone really care that a 68 year old man is gay?

* Lucy Lawless should have disappeared after Xena was over. That was the pinnacle of her career. I am sorry that is sad to say, but it is absolutely true. Now she is in her second CBS "movie event" Vampire Bats. Like her first CBS "movie event" Locusts wasn't enough they had to bring her back. In the same character no less. CBS is cornering the market on stupid movies involving college students as they had the great Spring Break Shark Attack. (Great review by Micah.) I think her and Peta Wilson should have a fight over the most wasted late nineties talent and the winner would agree never to appear on TV again, while the winner will at least be guarenteed spots on VH-1 Best Week Ever shows twice a year. Just a thought.

* I think I accidentally stole something today. I put a 2.5 gallon bottle of water on the bottom of my cart and went about my shopping experience. I don't ever remember putting it on the conveyor and it wasn't on my receipt, but it was in the main area of my cart after the bagger loaded my cart. Since he took the time to move it is he to blame or is it still my fault? Should I have gone back and paid for it since there was a long line and it would have taken at least another 15 minutes out of my life. Maybe it is God's way of letting me get even with corporate America over something they probably did to me. (See what I did there I invoked God's name to make it okay to steal.) Sadly this is not the first time in my life this has happened and it definitely won't be the last. Deep down maybe I am a klepto and I just didn't know it.

* Cheney's ex-aide Libby is coming up with the best legal defense ever. "I am busy and can't remember what we said then." This could be ground breaking. "Did I kill him? I don't remember, I was busy." Maybe he really was in a scavenger hunt. I think that defense would work. :)